#IM ACTUALLY RUNNING LATE AS HELL FOR WORK BUT LOOK MA

[akkivee]

HES READING POETRY

[babbushka]

hey sweetie! Happy new year! yayyy im so excited for the new writings coming up! i've got a request that i think it will be pretty funny with biker kylo! ''its a fancy dress new years party, and person a is shook seeing peson b all dressed up for once''. i feel like they wouldnt go to a party with a lot of people but maybe she could ask him to dress nice? just for the two of them? like a date? smutty-ish? pretty please?

A/N: Hello my dear! Thank you so much for this request, I think it's so sweet and though it started out funny it turned sappy, lol. I hope you enjoy the little ficlet I've come up with. Wishing you a very sweet new year!!

1.2k, warnings for descriptions of food, mostly fluff!

You had said to get there at sundown, and to dress nicely. Kylo didn’t know what the fuck that meant, dress nicely. He spends most of his days in stained and torn t-shirts and faded black jeans, what was nice? He couldn’t ride his bike in nice clothes, he’d burn the shit out of his legs right through any trousers he might have stored in the back of his closet -- all of this internal monologuing is why he’s late.

He’s not that late, not really, the sun only went down twenty minutes ago, but Kylo had had damn near a nervous fucking breakdown throwing his clothes everywhere, trying to figure out what he could wear that would be nice.

It’s the first Rosh Hashanah that you’re spending together, and he doesn’t want to blow it. You’re the woman he would take home to Ma, if he still spoke to his mother, he doesn’t want you to think he ain’t serious about this relationship that you’ve built together. He is serious, and that’s why he’s late.

He’s late, but he thinks he looks nice. He’s praying that he does, anyway.

To try and soothe some of your potential anger, he stops by the florist on his way to your apartment and picks up a big bouquet of your favorite flowers, and tries not to crush them on the drive over. Parking his motorcycle in the dedicated spot, he climbs the four story walk-up, and runs his free hand through his hair, before ringing your doorbell.

Not even a full second goes by, before you’re yanking the door open, and Kylo is about to brace himself for being yelled at, but when he sees your big grin, he lets out a sigh of relief.

“You made it!” Throwing your arms around his huge frame, you hug him tightly. If Kylo had been a smaller man, he would have been knocked backwards from the force of your embrace.

“Of course I made it, why the hell wouldn’t I? You told me to be here, so I’m here.” Kylo hugs you back, holds you tight and walks you backwards into your apartment enough that he can shut the door behind you.

Kylo doesn’t spend a lot of time at your apartment. It’s not because he doesn’t want to or anything, it’s just a little further out of his way than his own place. You both work close together, and his apartment is closer to work, so it always tends to just be the meeting place.

He likes your apartment though, it’s nice, cozy. It’s very you, which sounds stupid, but is something that always makes Kylo feel at ease. He likes the way you decorate, the way you so clearly have put your touch on everything -- it’s so different from his own approach that he has half a mind to be embarrassed. Maybe he should give you his keys and let you make that damn apartment feel more like a home, but then that would mean you’d never be allowed to leave.

“I thought maybe you couldn’t get the time off work.” You grin at him when he finally releases you.

“I’m my own boss, sweets, I make the schedule.” Lighting up a cigarette and puffing on it for a few seconds, Kylo winks at you, “Whole shop’s closed for the holidays.”

Crossing your arms in front of your chest and cocking your hip, you look him up and down, licking your lips and smirking, “That’s very impressive, you know Just like your outfit. I didn’t know you owned a suit.”

Kylo gives a sarcastic little spin on the heel of his boot, showing off the black ensemble that he had managed to dig out of his closet. It was just a jacket and trousers, with a tie that he had actually tied himself, not one of those bullshit clip ons. He’s got a white button down underneath, and he’s grateful for the way his hair covers the tips of his ears because you can’t stop lookin’ at him.

“Just the one.” Kylo blushes despite himself, still not used to the pleased scrutiny you often subject him to, he mutters, “Surprised it still fuckin’ fits.”

“It’s a little tight.” You whisper playfully, pinching at the shoulder seam where the fabric is struggling to contain him. He only huffs out a laugh, a big plume of smoke going with it.

“Alright alright. Where am I takin’ you?” He offers you the flowers, which you happily accept.

“Nowhere, come in.” Throwing the invitation over your shoulder, you walk into the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers.

Confused, Kylo frowns and follows you like the duckling he is, “What do you mean nowhere -- oh.”

In the formal dining room, Kylo is confronted with a long table completely covered in food. There’s so much food that he actually can’t see the tablecloth underneath all the serving platters -- gefilte fish, potato latkes, matzo ball soup, fennel and apple salad, roasted cauliflower and pomegranates, kugel, the biggest fucking brisket that Kylo has ever seen, and of course, an even bigger round braided challah taking center stage.

“Do you like it?” Nervously, you look at him from the kitchen, and Kylo snaps out of his reverie to make his way to you.

“Goddamn you are divine.” Kylo picks you up, kisses you all over your neck and cheeks, “It smells fuckin’ delicious, this can’t be all for me. It’s way too fuckin’ nice for me.”

He doesn’t put you down yet, not yet, wanting to keep you in his tattooed arms forever and ever.

“Now you know why I told you to wear the suit.” You laugh, feeling silly that it’s just the two of you, but, “It’s a special occasion, I wanted to do it up right.”

“You did good, sweets.” Kylo nods, trying not to get too emotional. “Come sit real close to me and tell me all about it.”

The last time he had a big spread like this for a holiday was...damn, he can’t actually remember. When he was a kid, before he fucked off and ran away from home at fifteen. No one’s cooked for him in general in just as long, probably.

Kylo takes his suit jacket off because it really is too tight around the shoulders, and sits down at the head of the table, pulling you directly onto his lap, your pretty self snuggling right up against him even though there’s a perfectly good chair next to him. Kylo starts kissing your neck again, making you squirm and laugh from the way his teeth scrapes against your skin, but then Kylo pulls away abruptly.

“Wait -- there ain’t any fuckin’ fish heads, are there?” He asks, surveying the table for the traditional dish.

“No, those always creep me out.” You scrunch up your nose, and Kylo lets out a sigh of relief.

“Me too, I don’t like shit that’s still got its eyeballs in it.” He shudders dramatically, “Makes me feel bad.”

“I know what you mean, but rest assured this dinner is head-free.” You pat his cheek lovingly.

Kylo catches the hand and pulls it to his lips, pressing a chaste kiss to your palm.

“Well... maybe for dessert?” He looks at you expectantly, and it takes you a second to pick up what he’s saying, but when you do, you roll your eyes and groan.

“You’re so annoying.” You say, really meaning I love you.

“Yeah.” He replies with a toothy grin, really replying I love you more.

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Tagging some Kylo lovin' friends!

@mochabucky @sacklerscumrag @artsymaddie @bitchydecisions @direnightshade @thembohux @kylorenswhxre @sunflowersinthesnow @babayagakeanu @safarigirlsp @steeevienicks @materialisthicc @hswritingrecs @rosi3ba3z @chapterhappygirl @schopenhauerdeathsquad @loverofallthings @groovetoob @bxnnywriting @angel-bxby3 @smallgirlbigpersonality @lovelyyy-luna @2000andwhat @raddo1975 @cornmousequeen @metsienmenninkainen @caillea @painttheskylineforme @holding-on-to-starwars @caitlin-was-here @icarusinthesea @princessflip @goddessofsprings @mrs-gucci @baubub @bucky-j-barnes @mindyoshiii @beachwoodmonet @darkhairedmenrule @eagerforhoney @nekonaomitard @einmal-im-traum @justlenastuff @0nihiime @ohsolonelyghosts

[softliebgott]

PICADILLY LILIES — Bill Guarnere

Hi! Can you write something fluffy with Guarnere? Maybe with the prompt “Let’s just stay here. I don’t ever want to move”. Thank you so much ♥️ (I love your writing) - Anonymous

Masterlist + Taglist + a playlist for you and Guarno gonorrhea

I listened to “I Put A Spell On You” by Annie Lennox while writing this. So this turned...a little indecent 👀

@tvserie-s-world @general-taylor @mgdln97 @gottapenny @morgan108 @thegermansarebad @snafus-peckuh @wexhappyxfew @scarecrowmax @ineffablewants @junojelli @inglourious-imagines @sunflowerchuck @alienoresimagines @fandomscenariosforyou @ray--person @noneofurbusinez @keoghans @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @mrseasycompany @vintagelavenderskies @mrsalwayswrite @meteora-fc @order-of-river-phoenix @stressedinadress @50svibes @thoughpoppiesblow @now-im-a-belieber @chickenstrippers666

IN ALDBOURNE the civilians were tickled pink to see the boys, and you and Bill were happy as hell to be alive. After D-Day, the flow of patients increased, and your position as a nurse was revised. Your ‘relative’ rank changed into a ‘full commissioned’ status. Moreover, you and the girls had to cope with inadequate supplies and lack of adapted Theater clothing. Nurses came under fire, others were taken prisoner, and many had narrow escapes. Deaths were unavoidable. The Army Nurse Corps worked closer to the front lines than they had ever before. The war was your personal paralysis demon, and it terrified you. 

You and Bill planned to use your seven-day passes as if they were your last.

“Two hundred green ones,” Bill said, counting his handful. “This is more than a South Philly kid has ever had in his hands.”

You pinned his ribbons and medals to his new uniform. “What are you gonna do with it?”

He folded the bills and tucked them into his breast pocket. “Send most of it back to my ma.” He shook his head. “Jesus, I miss makin’ ravioli with her.” 

“You don’t tell me enough stories about her.”

“Stories, stories.” He rocked his head side to side. “I dunno how to tell ya enough.”

You pouted your lips. You loved his stories as much as the boys. They helped distract you from the memories on the line, and kept your affection for him as strong as the moon’s light in darkness.

“Alright, cookie,” he said, softening. “You ever hear of Sophie Turner? Mom is like her; big, short, and plump. She sings and smokes. An absolute angel. I’d make a quarter from selling coffee for a nickel a piece, give it to mom, and she got so excited. She’d go play the numbers with it, and hope to double it.”

Smiling, you finished with his decorations and grasped his tie to pull yourself against him. He drew in a breath. You angled your head back to meet his eyes. His pupils had dilated. Your touch always disarmed him. “Think I’ll get to meet her someday?” You asked.

“Are you kiddin’? That ain’t even a question. Hasn’t been since I met you.”

“You mean that?”

He raised his brow. “You take me for a kidder?”

“I wouldn’t want her to dislike me.”

“Hell, if she don’t I’ll run away to the sticks with ya.” Bill gripped your hips. “But I doubt she’ll raise an eyebrow when she sees you.”

You reached your arms around his neck, balancing on your toes, and fit your lips to the crook of his neck. “I adore that you already think ahead for us,” you murmured. Your warm breath caused goosebumps to prickle along his skin.

He embraced you in a strapping hold, molding you against him. Both of your uniform decorations pressed uncomfortably to your bodies, but neither of you minded. It was more of a stimulation. Tighter, so I can feel how painfully you love me. “Nothin’ keeps more me more sane.” He loosened his hold, letting you fully stand back on your feet. His hands rested on your neck and he rubbed his thumb along your jaw. He leaned down, and you closed your eyes, lips parted and willing. He pressed his mouth to yours, hotter than a glowing cigarette, as if he needed a part of you to breathe himself. It was deep and impatient enough that you both felt each other’s teeth.

You always hated it when he pulled away, but you reminded yourself you had the next seven days with him to eat each other alive.

He said, “Let’s go raise hell.”

In London, everyone knew the boys were just in combat. They knew they killed people, and the Londoners expressed their fear almost as proudly as their opinion on tea. No one messed with the boys.

However...

Americans made three or four more times the pay than the English soldiers did, plus the extra fifty bucks jump pay. Bill and the boys threw their money away at the pubs. They’d slap a ten on the bar, look like big spenders, and impress the girls. Most of the time those were the girls of the English soldiers, and because of that a fever of brawls broke out. You and the boys raised Cain in London.

You drank, danced, and laughed yourself dizzy with Bill. Like the boys with the British girls, you and Bill openly showcased your affections. Whether it be a hard hand gripping your rear, or pulling you onto his lap to satiate his need to taste the alcohol on your tongue.

On the last night of your pass, it was late and you and Bill couldn’t find a place to sleep.

“I’ll get us a place to sleep,” he said. He held your hand as the two of you ran the streets like forbidden, lovestruck high school sweethearts. He took you to a USO club, but there were no beds left.

“Watch this.” Bill went to the door. Breathless, you hid your grin behind your hand and tried not to let loose your drunken giggles. He yelled, “Fire!”

Everyone burst out as if hell was on their heels, and Bill snagged your hand and slipped inside with you. You squeaked as he swiftly scooped you into his arms like a new bride. Drunk as sixteen skunks, you pried your heels off with your toes, and indulged in messy, salacious kisses with Bill. Despite having as many drinks as you both did, tasting each other made you more dizzily intoxicated.

He collapsed onto a bed, his weight pinning you. You started to desperately remove each other’s clothes, and Bill slinked down to kiss your legs, but stopped when you made a frustrated whine. He looked up to you. “Whassamatter?”

Face mangled with childlike sadness, you said, “I can’t undo my buttons. I’m stuck.”

“Lemme give it a go.” Bill climbed up to you and fumbled with the buttons on your uniform jacket. He acted as if the buttons were as slippery as a bar of soap. “Fuckin’, fuckin...shoot my ass and call me Betty! God damn!” He fell onto you in defeat, and your laughter brought tears to your eyes. 

It took you a while to calm down and catch your breath, but Bill didn’t mind. With your arms around him, he loved feeling the vibrations from your body and listening to your laugh. If there was anything he’d actually get more drunk on, it was your happiness. He snaked his arms around your backside and nuzzled your chest with his cheek. “Let’s just stay here,” he said sleepily. “I don’t ever wanna to move.”

You stroked your fingertips along his face, lulling him to slumber. I wish we could, you thought. We got war waiting. You tried to keep your eyes open to prolong this nightlife, but you were too at peace. Bill’s little snores betrayed your attempt, and you fell asleep.

[starbuckie]

𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬

challenge: winter warmers writing challenge by @spaceodditybarnes

prompt: “it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas” by michael buble

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

words: 2k without lyrics, 2.1k with lyrics

warnings: i genuinely don’t think i can say anything besides FLUFF, oh wait theres some mentions of the shmexy sex (i promise im a functioning person)

summary: in which they take a little holiday stroll and talk about what they are.

a/n: THIS MADE ME VERY HAPPY THANK YOU FOR HOSTING THIS CHALLENGE JADE!!! i kinda veered off the idea of christmas with this one, but my mind created another idea and i kinda just went with the flow. anyways, i really enjoyed writing this one, and i hope you all had a lovely holiday season <3 LOTS OF LOVE Y’ALL

main masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Everywhere you go

Take a look at the five and ten, it’s glistening once again

With candy cane and silver lanes that glow

Snow sprinkled to the buildings and sidewalks of Midtown Manhattan, making the traffic clog up to the oh so lovely sounds of taxis and cars honking. It was far from what people pictured it, really, New York was absolute hell during the holiday season. Sloshing boots and teens smoking pot outside the scantily decorated discount store that held very little, sad-looking Christmas lights.

It didn’t bother Bucky. No, he had never been a big fan of the holiday season. Even back in the forties, with his ma and little sisters, they had never been huge on celebrating Christmas, instead choosing to work those shifts during the holiday so they could make a buck or two more to hold them over. Now in the twenty-first century, the holiday just reminded him how truly lonely he was, everyone and everything he used to know long gone.

But then he found Y/N. Granted, it had not been a formal introduction. The poor girl had nearly damn run him over with her motorcycle for Christ’s sake, but nonetheless she crawled into his heart that cold December morning two years ago, and had not left ever since. 

Now she walked by his side at Rockefeller Center, her cold fingers intertwined with his warm ones, admiring the tree while he admired her. He already had every part of her memorized, from late night escapades in the sheets to studying the slope of her nose at team breakfasts. Even when he wasn’t with her, he was always looking at her, unable to pull his eyes away from Y/N’s radiance. 

This little… dalliance of theirs had only started a year back, and they had still yet to put a label on it. Sam had called it friends with benefits, Sharon called it being a couple without the name. Bucky had shut both of those ideas down, claiming that they were taking it slow and weren’t looking to call it anything yet they still had not really talked about it. Was it really worth ruining the bond he had with the girl he fell madly in love with? Whatever it was, they had never taken time out of their day to actually discuss what they meant to each other, but, God, he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t want to know.

“Bucky?” Her sweet voice brought him out of his thoughts, the glittering red and white lights of the Christmas tree reflecting in her eyes. “You seem kind of distracted right now, sweetheart, are you bored? We can head back to the compound if you like.”

He smiled at her worried tone, delicately kissing the tip of her nose. “‘M just thinking, doll, wanna stay as long as I can out here with you.”

The grin he received in return was breathtaking, her red-painted lips turned upwards and a little twinkle (literally and metaphorically) in her eyes. “Good.”

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Toys in every store

But the prettiest sight to see, is the holly that will be

On your own front door

“Oh, look at that helicopter, Buck! That’s so cool!” Y/N pointed at a little boy in the store controlling the airborne toy with a small remote. “They didn't have those when I was a kid, I just had my Tamagotchi.”

He scrunched his nose, staring at her with an emotion that could be described as nothing other than distaste. “What the hell is a Tamagotchi?”

“A Tamagotchi was like this little digital pet thing that you could take care of, mainly used for kids who were trying to prove to their parents that they could take care of a real pet. That’s why I had one at least, but I never did get a tabby cat like I wanted.” Y/N continued to ramble about her weird pet thing as they walked through the toy store, though Bucky didn’t really care. But he’d never stop her either. The way her eyes lit up in childlike wonder and her fascination with the toys on the shelves was too precious to destroy. This was the girl who he had seen slit throats and blow aliens’ brains out, and in the moment she was ogling an American Girl Doll like it was the last pancake at the breakfast table. 

Y/N finally convinced herself that she was done looking at the toys, claiming that she was too mature for such things (she really wasn’t), but he let her lead him out the door, before she halted right in the doorway. “What is it, honey?”

“Mistletoe.” He glanced up at the little sprig of green and red berries above their heads, hanging by a small strand of twine. A small group of kids with families stood around, watching them with both happy and annoyed faces. How could they not notice Y/N L/N and Bucky Barnes? Bucky’s vibranium arm may have been recognizable, but Y/N’s cheery, a little-louder-than-normal humming had caused a little group to watch them throughout the store. “I think they’re waiting for us to kiss, Buck.”

She leaned into him, placing her lips on his and placing her freezing hands on his cheekbones. Though Bucky had never been big on PDA, the rest of the world seemed to slip away when he was with her. He grinned into her lips, hugging her tightly around the waist so she squealed. When he forced herself away from her intoxicating mouth, she was sporting a bright smile and smudged lipstick that had rubbed off onto his. 

Giggling, she took her thumb and swiped off some of the red residue she had left. “You had a little something there, sweetheart.” 

A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots

Is the wish of Barney and Ben

Dolls that’ll talk and will go for a walk

Is the hope of Janice and Jen

Bucky watched Y/N point out all the different street cart vendors as they walked to Radio City Music Hall. She’d insisted that they go look at the window displays there as well, and who was he to argue? Strangely enough, they hadn’t talked much, other than the occasional “are you cold” from Bucky, to which Y/N assured him she was not. Her quiet voice sang the lyrics to Last Christmas when a little girl stopped in front of them, two auburn braids and green eyes boring straight into hers. 

The small child pulled on Y/N’s skirt, a silent plea to go down to her height. “Hi there, are you lost, sweetie?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” she looked back to an older woman, who gave her a thumbs up and a smile, “because you are my favorite superhero and I hope you have a very good Christmas.”

Y/N nearly melted at the toothless smile the girl, who she assumed was named Sadie by the necklace she wore. “Thank you so much, sweetheart. I hope you have a good Christmas too, and do you know this guy?” She dragged Bucky down next to her, the large, buff man hulking over the small girl. “This is my friend Bucky, do you know him?”

He eyed her warily, as if he were absolutely terrified of the tiny human. “You’re the Winter Soldier!”

Uh oh. The name was one that struck a chord of fear through everyone, still in shock of the events that had taken place in D.C. in 2014. While he and Sam had tried to label a new brand for the Avengers, people didn’t forget all the horrors of HYDRA and their prized assassin. Of course it hadn’t been him, even he knew that, but trying to convince people otherwise still made him feel guilty.

“You’re my second favorite Avenger, after Y/N, of course.” Sadie brought her hand to hover over Bucky’s vibranium one, her eyes wide with excitement. “Mr. Bucky, can I touch your metal arm?”

The man in question could barely utter out a word, muttering some sort of agreement before nodding with a timid smile. Giddily, she touched his arm, feeling all the cool ridges of gold-plated vibranium against the gun-grey metal. Sadie continued to pelt questions at him, about Sam and Redwing to his “adventures” with Y/N on the team.

Bucky, though shy at first, got more and more relaxed as they continued their conversation, his grin growing wider. Y/N loved her fans, she loved them so, so dearly, but seeing them interact with the man she loved was something different. Not a bad different, but a word that could only be described as pure joy. 

“Darling, I think we better leave Ms. L/N and Mr. Barnes alone. Say thank you and happy holidays.” The little girl looked sad, turning to look at her mom with a little pout, but she reluctantly obliged and soon the duo were off, into the crowded streets once again. 

“Y’know once upon a time I had dreamed about having kids,” Bucky commented. They walked along the sidewalks in a comfortable quiet after the encounter with Sadie, but Bucky’s mind had not stopped reeling from the happiness his conversation brought him. “Was gonna come home from the war, settle down with a gal, and live to be at least seventy years old.”

“Well, I can tell you you’re good on the last bit of that, Buck.” He snorted at her jab at his age, something that has become a norm for their little makeshift family of four. “What do you want now?”

He stopped in his tracks and looked over at her with a fond tilt of his lips. “Oh, just something real special.”

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Toys in every store

But the prettiest sight to see, is the holly that will be

On your own front door

“Y/N, what are we?” She glanced over at him from where they sat on the Met stairs, giving their feet a break from walking for hours. 

“What do you mean, Buck?”

He grabbed her hands and held them to his chest, trying to make her understand the amount of confusion and impatience he had with this one burdening question. “We’ve been sleeping together for a year, Y/N. We make each other breakfast, we go out together, I literally have half of my closet dedicated to your stuff, but even after all that we haven’t given us a name yet.”

Y/N sat in stunned silence, staring at the outburst from the man in front of her. To be completely honest she had never really thought about the question, choosing to enjoy each second she got to spend with the wonderful man with her. What she had noticed however, was how whenever they parted ways or were in the most intimate of moments, three little words nearly slipped off of her tongue. Every. Single. Time.

“Well, what do you want to be, Bucky?”

“I want to be the man you love. I want to be the man who loves you with his entire heart, though I like to think I already am. I want you to be my best gal more than anything in the world, and that I want to be the man who gets to hold and love you every night.” Slowly they drifted to each other, a magnetic pull bringing them to each other. “What do you think, doll?”

“I think,” her lips split into a grin, hovering over his own with the exact same expression, “that I want to be your best girl and the one who gets to make you pancakes in the morning and I want to be the one you get a cat with, who we’ll name Alpine because if I know you, names are the most important part of having a pet. I want to be held and loved by you every night, Bucky Barnes, and I am the girl who loves you more than anything in this entire damn world.”

Not another second to spare, Bucky pulled Y/N in close, letting himself get lost in one of her sweet, loving kisses, finally knowing that he was hers and she was his. At long last.

Sure, it’s Christmas once more

[heyitsyn]

Mess Up

TimeTraveler!Son x Haikyuu!!

a/n: lmao im really sorry about this :’( this is just a brain dump and something i thought of while i was watching the stage play and i was thinking about it last night until i fell asleep

p.s. your son’s name is natsu in this one and hes an oc so dont be confused as to who this guy is 😂

summary: your son accidentally stumbles through time and the only way he can go back is if his mother and father get together. the only problem? he doesnt know who his father is

he,,,, messed up

that was clear the moment he woke up to a supposed bicycle accident in early morning when it shouldve been a car accident at the dead of night

lets take a flashback shall we

natsu came home after volleyball practice around 8 at night and he stumbled through the front door where he could smell the delicious food that you were cooking

‘ma! tadaima!’

he shouted and you peeked from the hallway with your blue apron and ladle and a close-eyed grin

‘okaeri, baby!’

his slippers padded across the wooden floors to go to the kitchen and watch as you stirred the miso soup

‘how was practice, dumpling?’

omg i would totally call my future kids that though

he shrugged, even though you couldnt see him, and went to the fridge to grab a bottled water before taking a sip

‘inter-high is coming up so captain’s been making us practice longer’

he answered then went to jump on the counter beside the stove so you could see him

he turned silent as he inspected your features and how youthful you still looked despite going through so many stressful times and hardships of raising your son alone

but he was really wondering what was exactly your purpose of being here since you rarely cooked for him due to being busy at work and therefore coming home late

‘ma, why are you here early?’

you noticeably stopped for a second before smiling, eyes shifting from the pot to him

‘i,,, have something to talk about with you’

natsu blinked then leaned against the wall and crossed his arms

‘is it something bad? but youre cooking my favorite so it must be something good. then again, it might be something bad but you want to be on my good side so youre bribing me with-’

‘natsu’

you softly called out to him and he stopped

you turned off the stove and shuffled to the side so you could stand in between his legs

no words were said as a sad look passed your eyes and you cupped his face, looking at him

‘youve grown so much, natsu. ma is sorry that she wasnt here to watch you grow. can you forgive me?’

natsu let out a confused sound and he placed his hands on top of yours from his face then quirked an eyebrow

‘ma, whats going on?’

he slowly asked

you continued to look through every feature of your son and grimaced slightly as his father’s stood out much more than you thought

‘come. lets eat while we talk’

dinner was tense

it was more of the tension coming from you and natsu being so worried and confused that he couldnt even eat his favorite

suddenly, he slammed his chopsticks to the table, fed up with the silence and genuinely worried by your behavior

‘ma, tell me whats wrong’

you winced and swallowed before shakingly placing your own utensils down and looking at a stain on the table from when he was 5 and accidentally spilled dye from his tye-dye activity

‘natsu, i,,,’

you drifted off but he gestured for you to continue

‘first off,,, i want you to know that i love you and that i only want what’s best for you. second,,, i hope you will go through with this because i,,, dont want you to bear this,,, this grudge for the rest of your life’

‘am i adopted?’

he demanded but you looked at him in shock

‘what? no! we literally have the same hair color and eyes, dumpling!’

then he let out a relieved sigh

‘thats the worst thing i thought of so i feel better now. come on, hit me’

you chuckled but went back to talking

‘your father,,, wants to meet you’

nope, that was actually the worst thing he heard

‘father? what, father?’

he couldnt stop the venom that dripped from his words and you flinched because you knew he would act like this

‘we bumped into each other at the airport,,,, he told me about,,, wanting to meet,, you’

you mumbled, now concentrating at your laced fingers

‘well, you can tell him to fck off because the feeling’s not mutual’

natsu growled then continued shoveling down his rice but you reached out and softly placed a hand on his arm and sent him a pleading look

‘darling, i-,,, i dont want to do this either. but this hatred for him-your anger- i dont want you to live with this! this might not show now but it will affect you in the future with a-a future family! he will drag you down but if you just--- just talk to him once! just once-’

natsu banged a fist on the table and you gasped at the sudden sound

‘HE WANTED YOU TO KILL ME’

he shouted, anger and rage reeking from his spot across you

‘HE LEFT YOU TO FEND FOR YOURSELF BECAUSE HE WAS TOO MUCH OF A DAMN COWARD TO OWN UP TO A CHILD HE HELPED MAKE. OH SO WHAT- ALL BECAUSE HE JUST WANTED TO SCREW? A FUN TIME THEN THROW YOU-US- AWAY? NAH, MA, WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO MEET SOMEONE WHO NEVER WANTED ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?’

you gulped because right now, you were able to see the similarity to his father

‘he just wants to see you-to talk to you’

‘BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? I DONT WANT TO SEE HIS FCKING FACE BECAUSE IF I DO, I MIGHT PLUMMET HIM TO THE GROUND’

‘natsu, please stop yelling at me’

you pleaded and he stared at you angrily but turned his gaze back to the chicken bites

‘every thought of him makes me angry so if i see him, i will lose every control i have. hes nothing but a stranger to me-wait, no, hes like dirt that deserves nothing but bad luck to come his way. its either he wanted me or cant have me. and he chose wrong so hes going to have live with it for the rest of his life and pretend i dont even exist. and thats that’

you ran your hands on your face then closed your eyes

‘natsu, you dont understand, we-- we were children! i was still a student! we didnt know,, we didnt know anything about babies! i-i feel like shite because i brought upon this rage in you towards him, your father! i want to make things right! to make peace!’

‘DO YOU THINK I NEVER SAW THE TIMES YOU SAT ON THIS SAME FCKING TABLE, LOOKING AT THE BANK ACCOUNT AND CRYING BECAUSE WE WOULDNT HAVE ENOUGH FOR FOOD TOMORROW? OR-OR WHEN YOU BEGGED-BEGGED- YOUR BOSS FOR MORE SHIFTS SO YOU COULD MAINTAIN A ROOF OVER OUR HEAD? YOU THINK I DONT SEE THAT SHITE?! BECAUSE I DO! I SEE IT AND IT STILL GIVES ME NIGHTMARES TO THIS DAY BECAUSE I COULDNT DO ANYTHING TO HELP YOU! I JUST SAT THERE AND LET YOU SUFFER IN SECRET BECAUSE I WAS JUST A CHILD! AND DO YOU KNOW WHO’S AT FAULT WITH ALL OF THIS?! HIM! HES THE REASON WHY YOU SHED EVERY BLOOD, EVERY SWEAT, AND EVERY TEAR! ITS BECAUSE OF HIM I NEVER SEE YOU BECAUSE YOURE BUSTING YOUR ASS AT WORK FOR ME! ITS BECAUSE OF HIM THAT I PLAY LIKE MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT SO I CAN BE SCOUTED AND EARN MONEY FOR US IN THE FUTURE! HIM! ALL HIM!’

angry tears were falling down his face and you stood up to hold him but he shot up

‘natsu-baby-please calm-’

‘WHO DOES THAT TO A CHILD’

his voice cracked and he hiccuped

‘IT DIGUSTS ME THAT I SHARE THE SAME BLOOD AS HIM AND I AM MADE WITH 50% OF HIM! AND I SEE THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYES BECAUSE I REMIND YOU OF HIM, DONT I? I HATE THAT! HE DID THAT TO YOU!’

you held on to him and tried to tell him to calm down because you knew how distructive he could be

‘I HATE HIM. AND I CANT BELIEVE YOURE TRYING TO CONVINCE ME TO SEE HIM. HOW COULD YOU’

maybe it mustve been the stress from midterms and the competitions but his heart was hammering and he could see nothing but red and feel nothing else but anger running through his veins

‘no, dumpling, youre misunderstanding because i-’

but he swatted your hand away, eyes staring at his shoes

‘i need to get away right now. just- i’ll be at katsuki’s house. dinner was good so thanks’

he mumbled and rushed to the hallway, picking up his gym bag and quickly slipping on his shoes

you ran to the door and held on to him

‘natsu we can talk this out! please! dont go! just stay-’

he shut his eyes to calm himself down before turning and giving you a soft kiss on your forehead

‘ill be back tomorrow. just let me go blow off some steam, kay, ma?’

but he didnt even give you an answer because he was already out the door

--

the walk from his apartment complex to katsuki’s house should’ve only taken nearly 10 minutes but he was so pre-occupied and distracted that he ended up missing the turns and ended up in an unfamiliar street

based on his surroundings, he was in the city but he remained his gaze on his shoes, just walking and walking, not stopping

this caused him to miss the stoplight and he was the only person who continued walking, the shouts and yells from the pedestrians falling deaf on his ears 

but it finally opened up with a loud honking and a bright light that made him freeze in shock until it collided with him, sending him flying and falling unconscious

---

natsu groaned, not because of the pain but because of the bright light

‘oh god, i died and im going to the light’

he mumbled but a frantic shout made his eyes fully open up

‘NO DONT GO TO THE LIGHT! OH GOD! I JUST KILLED SOMEONE!’

natsu turned to the direction of the voice and he jumped then rolled over to get away but indeed, the pain from the collision stopped him

‘ugh’

he groaned and winced

‘hey, hey, you okay?’

the high-pitched voice asked and natsu raised his head to see the boy with orange hair kneeled down in front of him and hands hovering over him

‘i feel,,, ugh’

natsu sniffed and the boy helped him sit up so he could fully look around

‘where am i?’

he asked and the boy shuffled to kneel down beside him

‘japan. sendai. oh, im hinata shoyo by the way! so sorry i hit you with my bike!’

but natsu’s jaw dropped

‘hinata,,, shoyo?’

his eyes widened and he completely forgot about the pain as he stood on his feet, pointing at the tangerine

‘OLYMPICS!’

he shouted and he was getting scared, eyes drifting to everywhere and pacing in circles

‘did i,,,, no, that doesnt happen. damn izuku wouldnt shut up about doctor who. its not possible, just not! right?!’

hinata was now panicked and thought he really messed up the guy in the head because the h/c boy was now walking in circles, murmuring angrily, and face switching expressions every millisecond

‘oh my god, i need to take you to the hospital! i messed you up!’

hinata frantically grabbed his phone but natsu jumped and grabbed the device

‘no. no, its fine. i just-,,,, i dont remember anything’

natsu played and hinata’s eyes got even wider

‘OH MY GOD I REALLY DID SOMETHING WORSE!’

but natsu placed his hands on his idol’s shoulders to calm him down

‘no hospital, no needles, no medics. just,,, call your emergency contact or something’

it was quite funny that the victim had to console the cause of the accident but hinata nonetheless complied and hit the call button

‘your mom?’

natsu asked but hinata shook his head

‘no. my team manager, l/n y/n. she’d know what to do’

but natsu’s brain exploded

‘l/n,,,, y/n?’

my ma?

oh god i really did mess up

this is going to be a whole mess and i can already feel it but yanno what? imma just go with the flow and go through with your guys’ thoughts and ideas so in a way, you can control (??) the story?? idk i really dont know what im doing but i just needed to put this into writing bc ive been thinking about it since i woke up. also, do you think i should write this in a headcanons way or normal writing way?

[gryffindormischief]

First of all, happy belated birthday!! I'm late, i know but i was swamped with study! I was wondering, since the big exam i was studing for didn't go well, could you write me a consolatory, something? Maybe with "What happened this time? Do you need me to kiss your face until your forget about life again?” and hinny? merci ma belle

A/N: a bit delayed, but it’s here! I am so sorry your exam didn’t go well. I really do understand and just remember that no matter how big or important that exam feels, it’s not who you are and it doesn’t determine your worth. You’re amazing. Today’s a new day, you can start again, change your plans, go for it again, but whatever you do you’re more important than some test.

@fightfortherightsofhouseelves :)

Also on FF and Ao3

@petals-to-fish im putting out the bat signal

___

Charmolypi

Ginny Weasley is never one to do the expected. In fact, Harry sometimes wonders if she’s so unexpected that it really is expected. It’s a concept he’d like to float by Luna and her out of the box brain. She’s probably the only person he knows who could puzzle it out. He got a little tipsy once and asked Ron, who proceeded to toss stale pretzels in his face. And one day out of a sheer desire to break the horrific silence that is working late with Hermione, he asked her. She blinked at him and told him to go take a nap on the couch. He did and ended up snuggling with Ron, definitely a less preferable Weasley to wake up spooning than his usual variety.

But all that’s really beside the point. Which right now, is the fact that Ginny Weasley attended a commiseration ‘we lost’ bash at the Harpy’s local pub, remained sober as a judge, and then came home and splayed herself on the kitchen floor like a starfish. A sad one. Ginny Weasley is the person who whips in like a tornado, who somehow is the center of everything without even trying or wanting to be. She's the life of the party and yet never looking for the spotlight. So finding her stone cold sober and lying on the floor like a lump is pretty much as uncharacteristic as she gets.

She doesn’t move although he definitely closed the door with a slam that usually earns him a half-assed talking to, kicked off his boots loudly, and then stumbled into the doorframe because he really needs a holiday and also a new pair of glasses.

With a half smile, Harry slinks over to Ginny’s side, her shirt rucked up  enough to expose the purpling bruise on her ribs, and melts to the floor, shoulder to shoulder. “What happened here?”

His fingers tickle the edge of the mark and a shiver runs through her. A shiver that turns to a shudder and suddenly angry tears are slipping down her temples and he finally sees her bloodshot eyes. “I blew the whole damn game and practically cost us the season that’s what happened here.”

“You got hit with a bludger, Gin, nothing to be done about that.”

“What kind of tosser can’t keep their seat when a damn bludger knocks into them?”

“This kind of tosser,” Harry says, injecting a bit of humor into his voice even as he twists on his side and swipes at her tears.

“You were a kid - I’m supposed to be a professional,” Ginny grinds out, “I let the whole team down acting like a gormless idiot.”

“Hardly,” Harry says quietly, “I assume logic isn’t what you want right now or you’d be having this chat with Hermione.”

“She’s actually a pretty good pep talker,” Ginny admits with a wet laugh, “But I was too ticked off to care much for it. Remind me to apologize.”

Harry manages to work them both into sitting positions with one of Ginny’s legs tossed haphazardly over his hip so they’re basically chest to chest. Or forehead to chest since Ginny’s not doing much in the eye contact department at the moment. He nudges at her chin and she complies, and hell if her watery brown eyes aren’t the saddest thing he’s ever seen. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“I’m not - it was a shit fest.”

“I love being the over invested fan boy,” Harry says, “And getting to be the supreme fan boy because I actually do get to take the hottest chaser home and let her, pardon my crudeness, ride me like a Harpy.”

Ginny laughs, a little more real this time, and her forehead drops against his shoulder. “Did someone tip you off that I was moping?”

“Ron.”

“What a little snitch.”

Gently, Harry runs his hand up and down Ginny’s back as her breathing begins to even out, no longer the labored, shuddering breaths of held back frustration. He presses a kiss to her temple and murmurs, “Would you like me to kiss your face until you forget about life for a bit?”

Ginny’s lips find his collarbone, and then her warm breath tickles his neck as she answers, “And maybe some other things too?”

“Anything you like, dear.”

[flamehairedwritings]

Hey I love your Jim Hopper hcs!!! Could you do some about jealous Hopper? Maybe with Mayor Kline hitting on the reader? Thank you!!!

Thank you so much, lovely!! I’m so sorry this is late!

as I’ve said before, Hop is not a jealous man.

He’s not. He deals with jealous assholes at work all the time, and he just hates it. Besides, he trusts you.

.................... uhm

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t occasionally get a little jealous, though, mainly because he can be a little insecure, in himself that is.

He can’t help but think every now and then, in a tiny corner of his mind, that he doesn’t deserve you, that you could do better. He can’t help it, he’s always been insecure, and after his divorce and you being his first proper relationship since then, it has just exacerbated it.

He hasn’t had those feelings in a loooong time, though. With your love and care, he’s worked through it, and trusts you completely.

And then came the fair.

He never used to attend it, but this year, when you’d come home from work with the leaflet, eye-wide, smile wide, he’d begrudgingly agreed to go.

When the day came, your excitement was kinda infectious, especially when you’d classed it as a date, so he’d dressed in his new, favourite, tropical shirt, washed and brushed his hair, and had nearly thrown you on the damn bed with what you’d dressed in.

You’d held hands in the Blazer as he drove, laughing and singing along to the radio, both of you the most relaxed you’d been in a long time. It was getting more and more rare these days that you get an evening off together and actually do something with it, though you’re also quite happy to sit on the couch and hold each other as you half watch something.

This is exciting, though, something different, something new, and who doesn’t love a fair?

Once he’d parked up, you’d gotten out and held hands again, your eyes wide at the lights and sounds and laughter. He’d taken a breath and, though it’s not particularly his scene, he seizes the opportunity to just spend time with you.

And he soon relaxes, his arm going around your shoulders, around your waist, his hand back in yours, laughing as you do, and trying his damn best to win you a damn toy. He excels on the coconut shy and the shooting games, winning you whatever you want. You’re both soon hungry, though, and you grab a free picnic table as he gets in the queue for food, his hands in his pockets.

A couple of people will talk to him in the line, and he’ll be polite and talk back, then Callahan will bump into him and talk his ear off while he eats cotton candy. Hop will half listen, nodding and humming and glancing over Callahan’s shoulder at you.

The fourth time he glances over his shoulder, he’ll see that you’re not alone.

Mayor Larry Kline.

Hop has... not much of a relationship with him. He has to meet every week or so with him of course to report on what’s going on in Hawkins and to just be seen to be doing so, really, Kline never really listens and just kind of waves him off as everything seems to be fine.

But even from the short meetings he’d had with him, Hop knows what kind of man Mayor Kline is; a sleaze.

He’s charming, handsome, witty, everything a successful politician is.

And Hop watches you laugh at something Kline says.

Watches the way Kline talks to you, engaged, animated, attentive, and it... it makes something twist a little inside him.

Hop knows who he is, and knows that you love him, he knows you do, but... sometimes he wishes he could be more for you, that he could hold a room, be charming like Kline and make you beam with pride. At seeing Kline with you, he forgets that you already do that when you see him.

Running a hand down his mouth and beard, he keeps his eyes fixed on you, Callahan still going on and on, oblivious.

Kline laughs charmingly at something you say... and rests a hand on your knee.

He’s too busy staring at the hand, that he doesn’t notice you tense slightly and try to shift it away as you laugh politely.

Then, Hop’s striding out of the queue, ignoring Callahan’s ‘what the hell?’s

You were sat on your own, smiling to yourself, so happy with how the evening was going, that you and Hop were getting to spend real quality time together, when you’d heard someone approach.

Getting ready to say no, the table is not free, you’d then met the gaze of Mayor Larry Kline.

You’d smiled automatically, wanting to be polite, and he’s the mayor, after all, and he’d returned it, charming as ever.

You’d heard from Hop that Kline had... an interest in woman who weren’t particularly his wife, so that had been ringing in your mind as he’d introduced himself and sat down. You’d never met him, but he knew you were Hop’s girlfriend so even more alarms had started ringing when he’d turned on the charm.

You just tried to be as polite as you could, though, because, again, he’s the mayor, and he wasn’t doing anything that overtly called for you to call him out, and hoped Hopper would be back soon.

‘Wow, you’ve won a lot today, huh?’

‘Oh, no, not me, my boyfriend, Hopper, Jim Hopper,’

‘Ah, yes, of course. It’s good, that you have a man like that to take care of you.’

‘Yes, I’m very happy with him.’

Everything you said, you tried to make it very clear you are happy with Hopper, but Kline either wasn’t getting or was ignoring the message.

‘I have a gala next week, you and Hop should come, I bet you’d be the belle of the ball.’

‘Oh, no, I don’t think so, I think your wife would outshine me.’

He laughs, his hand gently resting on your knee.

‘Oh, I don’t know, you may give her a run for her money.’

Oh my God.

You laugh, politely, and try and shift your knee away, and you’re about to politely remind him of his wedding vows when Hop is suddenly there at your side, his hand settling on your back.

Kline smiles brightly, charmingly, as he looks at him.

‘Hopper! So good to see you—’

‘Yeah, whatever, pal, can you get your hand off my girl’s knee.’

Kline stares at him as you stare at Kline, your lips twitching.

‘... Oh, I was just—’

‘Hand. Off.’

Kline’s hand comes off your knee instantly and he laughs, albeit rather nervously this time, and gets to his feet, straightening his suit.

‘Just a misunderstanding, Hopper, I assure you—’

‘Yeah, I bet, you have a nice night with your wife, Kline.’

Kline’s smile is forced, fixed, and you’re biting at your lower lip to hide your own smile.

‘Well, I... Good evening, have a great night, both of you.’

Hopper watches him walk away until he hears your throat clear. Looking down at you, he finds you grinning.

‘My girl’, huh’?’

‘Well, you are, aren’t you?’

‘Oh...’

Rising to your feet, your smirk wide, your arms go around his neck as you look at him.

‘... Yes, I am.’

His own arms go around your waist, a low hum coming from him.

‘Think I might need to remind a few people of that.’

‘Chief...’

‘Shut up and come here...’

Your laugh will be muffled by his lips descending on yours, and with a single kiss, Hopper will remind everyone in the vicinity that you are his, and he is yours.

—

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[evansfm]

𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 –– 𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 .

every  morning  evan  woke  up  to  a  london  sky  that  refused  to  let  the  sun  in  ;  summer  was  drier  than  spring  ,  but  the  clouds  seemed  to  linger  year  round  .  .  .  not  that  she  minded  .  she  had  ,  after  all  ,  grown  up  in  county  dublin  ,  where  things  were  always  a  bit  damp  .  still  ,  the  lack  of  COLOR  could  be  draining  .  .  .  so  she  searched  for  it  in  unexpected  places  ,  creating  little  pockets  of  color  for  herself  in  a  rather  grayscale  world  .  golden  lights  strung  on  her  balcony  ,  isla’s  bright  red  hair  and  matching  smile  ,  an  array  of  bright  letters  boasting  NME  lining  a  wall  ––  covers  from  past  decades  ,  a  rainbow  rubik’s  cube  next  to  her  keyboard  ,  two  framed  photographs  perched  on  her  desk  .  the  first  seemed  like  forever  ago  ,  a  beaming  eloise  with  a  twin  on  either  side  ;  beck  on  the  left  ,  evan  on  the  right  ,  both  planting  kisses  on  her  cheek  one  valentine’s  day  years  and  years  ago  .  the  second  was  more  recent  ,  backstage  at  a  show  in  galway  ;  kieran  sat  in  his  chair  with  his  fingers  intertwined  with  evan’s  as  she  draped  her  arms  over  his  shoulders  from  behind  ,  chin  resting  on  top  of  his  curls  and  a  smile  that  looked  SOFT  compared  to  the  goofy  one  ruairi  wore  ,  looming  behind  her  with  his  chin  on  her  head  .  she  felt  warmth  every  t​​ime  she  looked  at  them  ,  but  there  was  always  a  tug  in  her  stomach  .  .  .  the  undeniable  feeling  of  something  missing  .  she  found  her  little  pockets  of  color  ,  but  they  still  seemed  muted  w​​ithout  the  people  she  loved  ––  the  PERSON  she  loved  .

their  schedules  had  begun  to  clash  ––  and  evan  hated  the  way  she  was  beginning  to  get  used  to  the  dull  ache  of  his  absence  .  distance  had  been  a  part  of  their  relationship  for  months  ,  but  the  time  zones  were  killing  her  .  they  couldn’t  always  make  time  for  hours  wasted  away  on  facetime  ;  she  couldn’t  always  fall  asleep  to  the  sound  of  his  voice  on  the  other  end  of  the  line  .  they  were  both  where  they  were  supposed  to  be  ,  chasing  their  dreams  together  ,  separately  .  .  .  but  evan  was  beginning  to  wonder  if  the  path  she  was  on  ––  the  desk  ,  the  deadlines  ,  the  distance  ––  was  actually  what  she  WANTED  .  there  was  a  lack  of  creative  control  at  nme  ;  she  was  a  part  of  a  greater  whole  ,  confined  to  a  desk  when  she  wasn’t  out  in  the  field  .  she  felt  restless  .  .  .  bored  ,  almost  .  and  with  her  most  recent  deadline  met  and  a  job  of  her  own  ––  evan  connely  ,  sans  nme  ––  waiting  at  the  end  of  the  week  ,  she  was  distracted  .  

“  WHAT  are  you  doing  ?  ”  isla  popped  up  behind  her  ,  coming  out  of  nowhere  to  look  over  her  shoulder  .

“  jesus  ,  ”  evan  startled  ,  nearly  dropping  the  plastic  puzzle  in  her  hand  ,  “  where  t’e  fuck  did  you  come  from  ?  ”

“  charlotte’s  office  .  answer  my  question  .  ”

“  playing  wit’  a  toy  ,  ”  she  held  up  the  half  solved  rubik’s  cube  ,  then  let  out  an  audible  sigh  as  isla  looked  unimpressed  ,  then  jutted  her  chin  towards  the  computer  screen  ,  “  trying  to  put  together  a  mood  board  for  t’is  gig  i’ve  got  wit’  saint  valentine  on  friday  .  ”

perfectly  shaped  auburn  brows  raised  ,  “  we  got  saint  valentine  ?  ”

“  no  ,  ”  evan’s  lips  lifted  into  the  faintest  smirk  ,  “  i  got  saint  valentine  .  ”

“  you’re  bloody  joking  .  shut  UP  ,  ”  isla  gasped  ,  rounding  to  her  side  of  the  table  desk  ,  just  to  roll  her  chair  around  ,  “  and  you  didn’t  fucking  tell  me  ?  ”

“  no  ,  because  you  couldn’t  keep  a  secret  if  you  tried  .”

“  well  that’s  because  it  shouldn’t  be  a  fucking  secret  ,  ev  .  this  is  fantastic  ,  ”  hazel  eyes  widened  with  excitement  ,  “  so  you’re  shooting  them  for  ––  .  .  .  ”

“  t’ey  weren’t  too  explicit  about  it  .  i  know  for  certain  i’m  covering  bot’  shows  at  t’e  o2  ,  documenting  t’e  whole  thing  from  t’e  moment  they  get  there  ,  ”  evan  huffed  a  curl  away  from  her  face  ,  nodding  to  the  screen  ,  “  and  t’en  a  shoot  on  site  at  t’e  venue  .  so  i’ve  got  to  work  wit’  what  i’ve  got  .  i’ve  got  ONE  chance  here  ,  and  nicky  haven  scares  t’e  absolute  fuck  out’a  me  ,  so  i  can’t  blow  it  .  ”

“  nicky  haven  scares  EVERYONE  .  it’s  part  of  h​​is  charm  ,  ”  isla  leaned  in  ,  ma​​king  herself  perfectly  comfortable  in  evan’s  space  as  she  took  the  mouse  and  began  clicking  through  different  ideas  opened  on  photoshop  ,  “  let’s  see  what  you’ve  got  so  far  ––  .  .  .  ”

“  isla  ,  it’s  not  a  big  deal  .  really  i  shouldn’t  even  be  working  on  t’is  HERE  ,  right  now  .  it’s  not  exactly  nme  related  stuff  ,  you  kn––  ”

“  i  TOLD  you  she  was  here  today  ,  ”  a  girl  called  sophie  ,  who  manned  nme’s  front  desk  in  the  mornings  ,  materialized  on  the  other  side  of  evan’s  desk  .  a  junior  writer  ,  andrew  ,  was  hot  on  her  heels  .

“  soph  ,  now  really  probably  isn’t  the  best  time  and  it  really  isn’t  your  busi––  ”

“  someone’s  got  to  show  her  ,  ”  sophie  was  ,  admittedly  ,  obnoxious  .  and  coming  from  EVAN  ,  that  was  a  feat  .

“  show  WHAT  to  WHO  ?  ”  isla’s  voice  changed  in  tone  ,  taking  on  a  hint  of  authority  as  she  looked  at  andrew  ,  “  aren’t  you  meant  to  be  doing  some  social  media  research  right  now  ?  ”

“  i  WAS  ,  but  ––  ”

“  but  we’ve  found  something  that  evan  HAS  to  see  ,  ”  sophie  .  again  .

“  we  ?  ”

“  ME  ?  ”  evan  said  in  tandem  with  isla  ,  brows  lifting  as  she  clicked  the  final  piece  into  place  on  the  cube  .  she  glanced  over  at  isla  and  felt  a  strange  twist  in  her  stomach  when  she  saw  the  redhead  had  gone  rigid  .

“  is  this  about  ––  ”

“  rebecca  stringer  ,  ”  andrew  nodded  solemnly  ,  as  though  evan  was  supposed  to  know  who  the  hell  THAT  was  .

“  better  known  as  BEX  ,  ”  sophie  added  .

it  was  evan’s  turn  to  go  rigid  .  her  back  straightened  ,  and  it  felt  like  ice  had  just  been  shot  through  her  veins  .  truth  be  told  ,  she  was  more  worried  about  conflicting  schedules  lately  .  .  .  not  the  way  bex  sing-songed  a  shortened  version  of  kieran’s  name  .  .  .  or  the  way  she  answered  his  phone  and  simply  couldn’t  remember  who  evan  was  .  .  .  or  the  way  she’d  made  sure  evan  could  hear  her  promise  to  personally  deliver  kieran  to  his  hotel  room  that  first  night  in  los  angeles  .  it  wasn’t  exactly  PLEASANT  being  reminded  of  the  instinct  that  she’d  shut  down  ,  intuition  telling  her  something  wasn’t  quite  right  there  .  her  brows  pinched  together  as  the  rubik’s  cube  slid  from  one  hand  to  the  other  and  back  .  she  glanced  over  at  isla  with  a  prompting  look  .

“  we’re  .  .  .  doing  a  piece  about  nepotism  babies  in  the  industry  ,  and  she’s  a  PERFECT  example  of  one  so  i  was  having  andrew  look  into  the  way  she  interacts  with  fans  and  her  socials  and  what  not  .  she’s  one  of  like  TEN  people  we’re  look​​ing  into  ,  ”  she  explained  with  an  apologetic  look  .  it  was  then  that  she  turned  a  sharp  eye  to  andrew  and  sophie  ,  “  don’t  know  what  THAT  has  to  do  with  evan  ,  though  .  ”

“  see  for  yourself  .  ”

“  SOPHIE  .  ”

“  what  ?  it  probably  isn’t  even  new  information  for  her  ,  ”  she  shrugged  ,  reaching  over  two  monitors  to  hand  evan  a  phone  .  twitter  was  opened  to  a  profile  with  bex’s  beaming  face  in  the  icon  ,  but  the  handle  wasn’t  hers  .  she  gave  the  pair  of  them  a  skeptical  look  before  glancing  over  at  isla  who  only  offered  a  half  -  hearted  shrug  .  it  didn’t  take  long  to  see  what  ,  exactly  ,  sophie  had  been  talking  about  ,  a  slew  of  tweets  and  retweets  .

bexupdates  :  bex  &  kieran  pulled  up  to  the  venue  together  .  .  .  and  then  left  at  the  same  time  .  why  are  they  lowkey  so  cute  annathefound  :  not  bex  wearing  a  baby  tee  version  of  the  found’s  merch  .  .  .  stanning  her  boyfriend  just  like  the  rest  of  us  

ruairidailyposts  :  ok  wait  are  evan  &  kieran  even  dating  anymore  bc  i  could  be  down  with  a  bex  &  kieran  moment  cheerupbailey  :  @ruairidailyposts  you  know  two  people  can  have  a  relationship  without  posting  about  it  right  ???  they’re  in  separate  countries  rn  lol

babybexxx  :  i  just  think  that  bex  &  kieran  walsh  as  a  power  couple  .

bxhq  :  no  offense  but  bex  is  simply  so  much  better  for  him  than  some  rando  from  ireland  like  what thefoundupdates  :  @bxhq  babes  they  LITERALLY  grew  up  together  ????

totallyconan  :  be  honest  do  u  guys  think  the  reason  evan  isn’t  on  tour  with  them  is  bc  they’re  not  together  anymore  like  she  literally  never  misses  shows

adamfitzupdates :  why  are  y’all  so  obsessed  with  a  relationship  that  doesn’t  concern  you  ???  chill bexlevitates  :  @adamfitzupdates  bc  it’s  weird  that  evan  knew  him  for  so  long  and  only  started  dating  him  AFTER  the  found  started  to  get  big  like  that’s  shady

bexupdates  :  find  someone  who  looks  at  u  the  way  bex  looks  at  kieran  on  stage  wtf  did  y’all  see  that

newruleshq  :  no  waaaay  this  man  has  a  gf  when  he  and  bex  look  so  good  next  to  each  other  LMAO  

thefoundupdates  :  according  to  the  girl  who  wrote  the  article  kieran  literally  WALKED  OUT  on  the  interview  ???  rockstar  behavior  but  also  hope  he’s  ok

evan  could’ve  kept  scrolling  for  hours  as  her  heart  rate  began  to  rise  and  rise  .  the  crease  between  her  brows  deepened  ,  and  she  reminded  herself  of  everything  she  knew  to  be  true  .  kieran  LOVED  her  .  twitter  was  a  BRUTAL  place  .  it  was  as  though  the  worst  parts  of  her  subconscious  had  come  to  life  in  280  characters  or  less  .  her  head  began  to  swim  as  her  heart  sank  into  her  stomach  .

“  what  does  t’is  ––  .  .  .  ”  her  voice  cracked  ,  and  she  cleared  her  throat  ,  finally  looking  up  from  the  phone  screen  ,  “  why  ,  exactly  ,  are  you  showing  me  this  ?  ”  

sophie  looked  as  though  she  was  shocked  by  evan’s  question  ,  “  because  i’ve  dated  musicians  .  .  .  and  like  HALF  of  those  are  in  bex’s  likes  .  which  are  public  ,  by  the  way  .  just  doesn’t  seem  subtle  to  me  .  ”

“  are  you  trying  to  insinuate  something  here  ,  sophie  ?  ”  her  tone  shifted  ,  irritated  as  she  handed  the  phone  back  .

“  like  i  said  ,  i’ve  dated  guys  in  bands  ,  too  ,  and  ––  ”

“  enough  ,  ”  isla  snapped  ,  “  you’re  sticking  your  nose  where  it  doesn’t  belong  .  BOTH  of  you  should  be  off  doing  your  jobs  right  now  ,  so  ,  run  along  .  ”

both  of  them  scurried  off  without  a  word  .  

evan  was  still  for  a  moment  ,  but  her  fingertips  were  itching  for  the  keyboard  .  she  was  no  stranger  to  things  like  this  ,  unkind  words  from  strangers  who  didn’t  LOVE  the  idea  of  her  ––  despite  not  knowing  her  .  the  good  outweighed  the  bad  on  the  internet  ,  but  the  voices  who  didn’t  like  her  were  always  the  loudest  .  even  BEFORE  she  and  kieran  had  gone  public  with  their  relationship  .  .  .  even  before  they  were  ever  in  a  relationship  at  all  .  over  time  ,  she’d  learned  to  tune  it  out  and  focus  on  the  kindness  that  flooded  her  comment  sections  and  mentions  .  .  .  but  every  now  and  again  something  slipped  through  the  cracks  .  .  .  and  when  they  did  ,  she  absorbed  them  like  a  blow  to  the  abdomen  .  they  settled  into  her  memory  and  cemented  themselves  there  ,  tucked  away  until  they  found  the  perfect  moment  to  make  her  self  conscious  .  like  the  fan  who  had  commented  on  the  shape  of  her  body  before  and  after  going  to  uni  .  .  .  and  another  from  galway  who  made  it  their  business  to  let  everyone  know  she’d  slept  around  while  living  there  .  .  .  and  every  time  someone  said  she  wasn’t  good  enough  for  kieran  or  any  of  them  .  that  she  had  bad  intentions  ,  leeching  onto  the  boys  for  fame  .  that  her  career  was  based  SOLELY  on  the  four  of  them  .  

if  she  caved  and  kept  scrolling  ,  she’d  commit  it  all  to  memory  .  .  .  everything  that  made  her  intuition  about  bex  STRONGER  .  

instead  ,  she  launched  forward  and  snatched  the  rubik’s  cube  back  up  ,  immediately  distorting  its  perfect  faces  and  mixing  it  up  again  .  it  was  good  to  keep  your  hands  busy  ,  she  knew  ,  when  your  mind  began  to  run  away  .  

the  worst  of  it  wasn’t  even  TRULY  comments  about  their  relationship  .  .  .  those  hurt  ,  but  they  didn’t  sting  quite  as  bad  as  real  -  time  updates  about  kieran  and  bex  showing  up  or  leaving  venues  together  .  she  dulled  the  pain  by  reminding  herself  that  THREE  other  boys  were  never  too  far  behind  .  that  kieran  would  never  .  .  .  COULD  never  .  .  .  

but  then  again  ,  there  was  the  tweet  that  weighed  heaviest  in  her  mind  .  kieran  walked  out  in  the  middle  of  an  interview  ,  and  he  hadn’t  told  her  .  something  rattled  him  to  the  point  of  his  version  of  an  outburst  ,  and  he  hadn’t  told  her  .  that  seemed  like  something  he  would  have  told  her  .  .  .  it  seemed  important  enough  ,  she  thought  to  herself  ,  right  ?  RIGHT  ?

her  throat  felt  tight  ,  and  she  kept  running  the  tweets  she’d  read  over  in  her  mind  .  there  was  a  deep  furrow  in  her  brow  as  she  looked  down  at  her  hands  ,  still  vehemently  mixing  up  the  toy  .  something  felt  off  kilter  .  .  .  but  she  couldn’t  pin  down  which  hurt  more  :  the  slew  of  tweets  from  people  pretending  to  know  what  went  on  in  her  relationship  .  .  .  or  the  thought  of  kieran  doing  something  as  rash  as  storming  out  of  an  interview  ––  and  then  not  telling  her  .  

“  i  didn’t  know  about  t’e  interv​​iew  bit  ,  ”  she  said  quietly  ,  eyes  still  trained  on  the  colorful  cube  .  she  was  certain  her  face  was  the  opposite  ,  color  drained  .  

“  evan  ––  .  .  .  ”

“  it’s  fine  ,  ”  she  said  firmly  ,  “  it’s  probably  not  true  .  just  like  t’e  rest  of  it  isn’t  true  .  ”

her  voice  sounded  distant  .  .  .  and  she  wasn’t  sure  if  she  was  trying  to  convince  isla  or  HERSELF  .  clearing  her  throat  again  ,  she  set  the  toy  back  down  on  her  desk  and  scooted  towards  the  computer  .  

“  i’ve  got  work  to  do  ,  ”  she  said  quietly  ,  getting  back  to  the  monitor  .  though  all  she  wanted  to  do  was  go  home  .  how  many  more  people  thought  that  she  wasn’t  GOOD  ENOUGH  for  kieran  ?  how  many  people  thought  someone  like  bex  was  a  better  fit  ?  how  long  would  it  take  for  the  suggestion  to  become  potent  enough  to  make  the  people  who  KNEW  them  question  it  as  well  ?  and  if  kieran  had  walked  out  of  an  interv​​iew  ,  WHY  hadn’t  he  told  her  ?  

she  glanced  down  at  her  own  phone  screen  ,  hoping  that  maybe  she’d  missed  a  text  or  a  call  .  .  .  but  all  she  got  was  nothing  .  nothing  but  the  words  she’d  seen  written  down  ,  now  cemented  in  her  mind  :  bex  is  simply  so  much  better  for  him  .  .  .  because  SHE  was  there  ,  wrapped  up  in  the  same  world  he  was  in  .  she  was  accessible  .  immediate  .  beautiful  .  

and  evan  was  stuck  in  london  with  nothing  but  time  to  wonder  .

[allylotti]

SIPPING JUICE — CHAPTER ONE

warnings: this story includes mature content such as substances, sex, suicide, and more that might not be suitable for people of the ages 16 and under.

( chapter one, 2253 words ! )

I TURNED AROUND AND THERE HE WAS... the boy that was always there for me and me for him. I smiled at him, running into his arms. I held him tightly, like I would never see him again. I sighed, letting free from my grasp

"I missed you so much Jarad-" I started to tear up a bit.

It had been almost three months since I had seen him, because for the first summer ever my dad decided that it was a good idea that I went with him for the summer. My mother agreed with him saying that it was good for me to spend time with my father. I begged her to not make me go, but she denied my request, so instead of using three months of my time being with my friend, they went to waste on my excuse of a father.

"Hey, look at me y/n, it's okay, I'm here." He smiled softly cupping my cheeks. "now don't cry ma' let's get you home, we can make up for lost time later." I nodded softly at what he said. He took my hand into his as we walked down the streets of Chicago that we called home. We walked in a comfortable silence the whole way to his place.

He smiled at me, flashing a pair of bronze keys at me.

I laughed a bit, "Huh, so your mommy finally thought you were grown enough for your own pair?" I teased him, he just rolled his eyes in response.

"Actually y/n, I made the copy myself from the spare so, ha, no my mother didn't give them to me" he remarked.

"Aww he's such a grown up!" I pouted. "I want baby Jarad back, have you seen him? You know the one with the baby face, and short, non dyed dreads?" I crossed my arms in a joking manner.

"Y/n, you act like a child-" he said, opening the door.

"It's because I want yours!" He looked at me seriously, and I said "I'm joking!"

As I walked into the small apartment, I noticed that there was something different, I don't know if it was a vibe or something physical that had changed, it didn't feel right with me.

"Jarad, did you guys change anything in here since I left?" He shook his head as a response. I assumed they just had a friend over or something and shook off the feeling that I had gotten, somewhat like an evil presence had been here.

"You still playing GTA Jarad?" I asked sitting down on his couch. "Uh yeah... I had to choose who the fuck I wanted to kill, Franklin, Michael, or Trevor."

"Please tell me you picked Trevor-" I said whilst picking up a controller for the PlayStation.

"Funny thing is I did" he laughed.

"How'd you kill him?"

"Fire"

"Oof- that shit must have sucked to die in" I laughed.

"Yeah, right. Well I'll be back, I'm going to take a shower" after that he walked upstairs, leaving me alone downstairs.

( a few minutes later ! )

There was a loud knock on the door, just as I had gotten shot in the head,

"Son of a bitch!" I grunted.

I walked towards the door opening it, revealing a short girl with dark hair and pink highlights. I felt that same vibe as I did earlier but I ignored it. A little annoying by her presence I asked

"What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" She replied with my question.

"Um... I'm Jarad's best friend, y/n, who are you?" She looked at me in disgust as those five first words came out of my mouth.

"Oh, I'm Alexia, Alexia Smith, nice to meet you y/n" she smiled fakely, I feeling petty today returned it.

"Is there anything I can get you, Alexia?" I questioned.

"Uh yeah, is Jarad home?" She asked looking down at her shoes.

"Um, no I'm sorry he isn't here right now, I'll let him know that you wanted him, bye, bye" I said shutting the door on her face. I sighed, pressing my back against the door, allowing myself to fall to the ground.

"Who was that?" I heard a voice in front of me asked.

Annoyed that he didn't tell me he had a new girlfriend I said "who is Alexia Smith?"

"Oh, I see, you've met her, Alexia is a friend I met at the park."

"Just a friend?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"Promise Y/n, I'd never lie to you"

"Okay, but I want you to sing for me, and in exchange I'll make you and ma' dinner, deal?"

He scratched his neck and looked down as if he were putting much into my question.

"Okay, Deal" he smiled.

"Oh, and you'll have to sing for me" I giggled. He smiled and tackled me onto the couch, we burst out in laughter.

"Oh god I've missed this" I smiled sadly, he sighed "me too, damn, it's only been three months without each other and it feel like it was an eternity, if we ever get like- supper mad at eachother and shit, and we like won't say sorry because of our pride- I don't know how I would do it, y/n, being without you is- worse than I thought" he chuckled.

"We won't- friends forever, remember? Always and forever" I sat up and kissed him on the cheek.

"Now you have to sing for meee!" I yelled.

"Okay, well so- I haven't told you this but...I've been working on some songs-"

"-And you didn't call me- nuh uh baby, show me them songs" I interrupted him.

"...sorry?" He asked in a way. I gave him a straight face and shook my head.

"Here look, I typed up the lyrics in my phone, but I don't know what to call it! I wanna do Autograph but I also want to do On my line" he pouted handing me the phone.

"Let me see, do you have this recorded Jare?" I asked, reading the lyrics.

He nodded in response, "I love it, and you know what you can call it, Autograph (On my line) it fits," I smiled, "now, the best part... sing it for me, please!"

"Fine" he cleared his throat, getting ready to sing for me.

"I hope I'm the only girl you sing to" I joked.

"You know I wouldn't do that shit with any other girl" he laughed.

"Why you mad,Why you mad, Why you mad, Why you mad?

That's all I wanna know! You're lookin' like a joke, try humour at the most. Steady chokin' on your shade like a dick in your throat,

Well if you're gonna throw shade my way, Maybe you should throw with a little more aim. It's a cold day in hell, when they dirty up your name.

They don't got no business talkin' in the first place i'm freezin'.

All these fuck bitches on my line, Damn bitch you must wanna die tonight

Yeah I rock a choker with a .45 and I know some bitches that are down to ride.

All these hatin bitches on my line, Damn bitch you must wanna fuck tonight!

Let me guess, you're my biggest fan right?"

I was surprised at how much he had improved in the last three months, he was always good but now he would just be top on the charts if he put his music on YouTube and whatnot.

"You wanted an autograph all you had to do was ask, woah

But you lookin like an asshole, Up on twitter and you lookin mad woke, talkin bout me! But you lookin bad woah, Like the ugly daughter that I never had woah, and what's up with these lames, Got my name in they mouth like they swallowin my Children, I never got why bitches hate, its probably Cuz im doin better than em anyway, Its probably cuz i get they bitches wetter anyway, it's Probably cuz im livin and they're in a lower place, They walkin in the slums while im vibin outter space.

Crash land just to take they girl on a dinner. Date, when haters see me winnin they just hyperventilate. They always try to stop me but i never hesitate,

Just follow all your dreams and when you reach them, Celebrate, that's the only way to truly make a hater suffocate.

All these fuck bitches on my line, Damn bitch you must wanna die tonight

Yeah I rock a choker with a .45 and I know some bitches that are down to ride

All these hatin bitches on my line, Damn bitch you must wanna fuck tonight

Let me guess, you're my biggest fan right? You wanted an autograph all you had to do was ask woah

Why you mad that's all I wanna know, Your lookin like a joke try humor at the most

Steady chokin on your shade like a dick in your Throat, well if you're gonna throw shade my way.

Maybe you should throw with a little more aim, It's a cold day in hell when they dirty up your name. They don't got no business talkin in the first Place i'm freezin, but these haters not breathin.

Stevie wonder to these haters no seein, And I don't believe it they hate me hate me for no reason. All these fuck bitches on my line,

Damn bitch you must wanna die tonight

Yeah I rock a choker with a .45 and i know some bitches that are down to ride.

All these hatin bitches on my line, Damn bitch you must wanna fuck tonight

Let me guess, you're my biggest fan right? You wanted an autograph all you had to do was ask woah." He finished, I started clapping.

"You, Jarad Anthony Higgins, are talented. No cap" I hugged him.

"Thank you" he smiled into the hug. "Now what's for dinner" he smirked.

"rice and beans, I'm kidding! My mom has some pasta at her house last time I checked, do you have oil or butter?"

"Yess"

"Okay, and no cheese, see after three months I couldn't forget your hate for cheese" I smiled.

Me and Jarad lived right across the street from each other. I walked out the door crossing the street, and walked in my "home", my mom was never home, she was too busy whoring around her body, when many people had offered her jobs, easy ones too! Even if they paid good money she would say no. The only time I would see her is if she had a guy over! And they wouldn't even be dressed, I basically lived with Jarad ever since my mom was fired for sleeping with her manager at her last job. When she would ground me from going to Jarads I would sneak out late at night through my window, and crawl in his. That was when I was twelve. That's why Jarad's mom is more of a mom to me than my own, she's always cared for me.

I took a deep breath in, smelling the air around me, "home sweet home" I mumbled sarcastically. Per usual it smelled like alcohol, weed, and sex. I rolled my eyes, seeing that she hadn't changed her habits. Walking into the kitchen, I opened the cabinet, finding the pasta just where I left it, I smiled to myself grabbing it and walking out. Shutting the door behind me.

I walked into Jarad's home, placing the pasta on the counter. I started to hum a song.

As I washed my hands Jarad came back into the room, I smiled. "I brought pasta" I sang,

"And you're humming Tupac, again" he sang back. I laughed "I'm always humming older songs" he laughed walking into the kitchen, next to me. He washed his hands and took out his phone playing the song I was humming. I laughed "you really did that didn't you?" I rhetorically asked while 'Picture me rolling' played in the background. He took out the pot and I put in the water, letting the pasta boil on the stove.

"Full grown, finally a man. Just scheming' on ways to put some green inside the palms" we both sang along. He wrapped his arms around my waist moving to the rhythm of the beat. I kissed his cheek, and smiled, "pastas ready" and as if on cue Mrs.Higgins walked through the door- she looked stressed. I smiled softly at her as she looked relieved seeing that dinner was already made.

"Y/n" she sighed "you're back!" She smiled brightly.

"You really thought I was going to leave yall, never"

When we ate dinner we caught up for the most part. Nothing too exciting happened in the last three months, but for some reason I couldn't help but think of that girl that stopped by. Jarad in a way seemed different, like he was hurt. It might have just been me, I've felt weird since I had left for the summer, getting these random feelings in my gut.

For the first time in three I slept in peace, knowing I was home. I was finally okay again.

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 27

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -3.9k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

- not many “Niall & Liv” moments, im sorry. i promise more in the next chapter!!!

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 27 : Her chapter 

OLIVIA

I was still crying when I parked in front of Niall's house and I stayed a few minutes in my car, my forehead leaning on the wheel as both my hands gripped it tight. I didn't know what I expected but when I felt Niall's hand on my stomach, I was shocked. I knew we had been talking about sex a bit before and of course I was sad, but I didn't link that with the fact that Niall wanted to pleasure me. Just thinking about it again made my heart jump in my chest and as hurt as I was at this exact moment, thinking about the words he whispered in my ear and his hard cock against my thigh was turning me on in a way I couldn't explain.

Finding out the next morning that he still had a girlfriend and that what he did to me meant nothing was extremely rough. I had felt so light as I fell asleep but now everything felt heavy, even breathing. Especially breathing.

My tears kept falling on my cheeks as sobs escaped my lips and I suddenly felt so mad at Niall that I wanted to scream. I started hitting the wheel roughly, letting out a short yell, and although I knew I probably looked pathetic, I couldn't help it.

"I love you okay! I fucking love you Niall Horan!"

Just expressing it out loud made me nauseous as my whole body started throbbing. Did I ever say these words before? I was pretty sure I hadn't. The closest was when Harry asked me if I loved Niall and I said yes but other than that, I never wanted to say it.

I stopped hitting my car and started crying again for I don't know how long but when I got out of my car, the tears had finally stopped. My eyes were red and puffy but at least I was not crying anymore. I unlocked his door and walked inside, not liking how quiet it was without Niall around. I was not used to be here without him but since he was at my place and that I had rushed out, I needed some clothes to get changed and I was not ready to see him again.

I walked to his room and found a pair of jeans and a band shirt that I left there a while ago and quickly dressed up before sitting on his bed. I couldn't help but play the scene of our first and only sexual encounter over and over in my head. How good his fingers had felt, how hot it had been to find out he had masturbated thinking about me, how turned on I was to feel him grind his hard dick against the side of my thigh.

I turned my head to look at his bed, knowing it would be wrong to touch myself right there and then but still considering it. I felt my cheeks burn at the thought and finally shook my head. I was sad, so sad that my heart was even more broken then it had been before, but most of all, I was mad at myself for thinking Niall could be interested in me as more than a close friend. i knew Harry had said otherwise and I had allowed myself to believe it for a few hours but now the fairy tale was over.

I felt so conflicted by all the feelings inside me that I just closed my eyes and tried to focus on my breathing. My emotions were all over the place and I didn't know why I felt horny all while feeling extremely sad and in pain. I was about to lay down in Niall's bed when my phone beeped.

I sighed and forced myself to look at it, scared that it would be Niall. I didn't feel ready to talk just yet and I knew I wouldn't be able to tell him no if he wanted to see me. To my surprise, it was actually a text message from Julie and it made me frown. It's not that we didn't get along but she was mostly Liam's girlfriend to me, whom was Niall's bandmate and nothing more. We had spent some time on tour together but even if I really liked her company, she spent most of her time with her boyfriend while I spent mine with Niall or Harry.

'Need to talk, can we come over?'

The 'we' implied Liam and I was suddenly curious to find out why they needed to talk to me. Curious enough to answer the message immediately. I couldn't tell them to come to my place since Niall was still there, or I guessed so, and asking them to have a discussion in Niall's house while he wasn't there seemed plain wrong.

'Can I go to your place instead?' I quickly typed and hit send, getting an answer immediately after.

'Of course'

She ended up texting me their address and I told her I was on my way but I remained sitting on Niall's bed, running my hand on his sheets gently. I missed him, I lusted him, I was mad at him... but most of all, I loved him. I loved him so much it hurt like hell. In the past few months, I had allowed myself to really feel the love I had for Niall, to let it invade all of me and even accept it as a part of me. However, the consequences seemed horrible and I did everything I could to keep my tears in this time.

With an other sigh, I finally got up and grabbed a water bottle from his fridge before going back to my car. All I wanted was to go home and get drunk but instead, I drove to the address Julie sent me and parked in front of the house. It was immense, horribly huge, and I ended up thinking i'd probably get lost if i lived in a place like this. My awkward and clumsy ass clearly couldn't remember where she put her stuff. I could barely keep my small apartment in order anyway.

It didn't take long for the door to swing open after I rang the doorbell and Liam sent me a smile, bringing me into an awkward hug before telling me to come in. Julie hugged me too and for some reason, I felt like something I didn't understand was happening.

"Beer? Wine?" Liam asked, pointing a finger at me and making me chuckle.

"Wine, white or red, i'm not picky."

He winked and left as Julie told me to sit. I did what she asked and leaned against the back of the couch, staring at her with small eyes. She looked slightly uncomfortable, as if she wanted to talk to me about something touchy and that she didn't know where to start. I thank Liam when he came back with a glass of white wine and moved on the couch to sit on the edge of it.

"Just let it come out the way it will." I proposed Julie, raising my eyebrows. "We'll work with it."

I stared at her for a few seconds and decided to take a sip just as she decided to answer.

"Did you ever tell Niall that you're in love with him?"

I was so shocked by her question that I choked on my wine, coughing a few time before swallowing hard and looking up at her.

"What?" I asked with a frown. "What makes you think that-"

"Liv, please." she cut me gently, raising one of her hands up to stop me. "It's pretty obvious."

I breathed in and held it in, closing my eyes for a few seconds before sighing and opening them again. My eyes moved from Julie to Liam and then back on Julie. I let my shoulders fall and brought my glass back to my lips, drinking half of it before shrugging.

"No I never told him, I don't see the point." I explained low. "He doesn't feel like that for me. But hey, i'll survive."

Julie glanced at her boyfriend before looking back at me. I still wasn't sure why I was there and I wanted to ask her but I also didn't want to seem rude.

"Look, you need to talk to him again. This sort of separation you two are in? It's bad."

I wanted to answer and tell her that we were back to talking but after what had happened this morning, I was not sure anymore. It felt horrible to explain, too, and discussing what Niall did to me the night before made my heart jump with embarrassment. I also sort of wanted to keep it to myself, like some memory I cherished since it would probably be the first and last time something sexual would happen between Niall and I. That being said, in a while, when it doesn't hurt as much, it would definitely become a memory I'll gladly use late at night.

"I mean it, Liv. It's really bad. Niall's a mess without you, he's miserable and he doesn't want to talk about it. I think you should tell him how you feel. We've been waiting for you two to date for years."

This time, I chuckled and rolled my eyes, drinking what's left of my glass. Liam quickly got up to go back to the kitchen and I sighed,  tilting my head and looking at Julie.

"Niall doesn't love me. Not like that, not romantically. Niall dates people like Maya and Heidi or that girl who had a youtube channel or something like that. Not girls like me."

"Niall loves you, Olivia. He clearly does, even Liam noticed!"

As if on cue, Liam came back with the whole wine bottle and filled my glass again before turning to his girlfriend with a frown.

"What did I notice?"

"Niall." she simply answered in a low tone before Liam turned back to me, his eyebrows raised.

"He's in love with you, no doubt."

"See?" Julie quickly added, making me chuckle again and close my eyes. "Even Liam finds it obvious!"

I wanted to thank them for being so sweet but I felt like I knew Niall better than them and with the way he treated me, I couldn't believe anything they had said.  I was tired to be hurt, there's just so many times I can have my heart broken, and keeping my hopes up would just hurt me more and more every time.

"He's stubborn, and blind, and stupid." she expressed in a serious tone. "And I know it sucks but you can't expect him to tell you he loves you first. He doesn't even know he does or at least, he won't admit it to himself. It has to be you, you need to tell him so he can finally open his eyes."

"He's probably scared of what he could feel, and also to lose you forever. He doesn't want to see how much he loves you and I can assure you that he's never loved an other girl the way he loves you." Liam added, reaching for Julie's hand and squeezing it gently.

I looked at their hands together and did everything I could not to tear up. I hated their speech because it was starting to make me believe that maybe they were right and I didn't want to. It was too dangerous. At the same time, I knew part of what Julie was saying was true. I couldn't keep on living my life with this big secret, with these strong and intense emotions inside me without ever telling him. I had to tell him how I feel, I had to say it even if it meant I would lose him because the more time passed, the more we fought and the more miserable I was. If I never tell him, i will always wonder what would have happened if I had, and it's better to regret doing something than regret not doing it. It had always been my motto for everything else, it had to be for this, too.

"Okay, I think I will."

                                                        -----

I drank half the bottle of wine and decided to text Niall to ask him to pick me up. Julie made me promise to give her news and I just nodded because deep down, I knew it wouldn't be good news. Liam told me he'd have someone drive my car back to my apartment and I thanked him, knowing that arguing about it would be useless.

When I saw Niall's car pull in the driveway, my heart threatened to jump out of my throat but I just walked slowly to the passenger's door, waving at my hosts and getting inside. I looked at my best friend and realized that I couldn't give up on him even if I wanted to, whether it was as friends or as more. I would always feel something for him, something deep. It seemed like all we did recently was fight and make up and I was not used to it but I knew we were changing, just like our relationship together and those who had with others, and it was okay. I was ready to do anything to keep Niall in my life. At all cost. He had told me I was his priority but I wasn't sure he had noticed that he had always been mine.

He drove in silence but I knew he was glancing at me from time to time but it's only when he put his hand on my thigh that I gave him all my attention. I focused on the way his thumb rubbed gently in circles against my pants and I swallowed hard, torn between pushing him away or just enjoying his light touch, which resulted in me simply keeping quiet.

He parked and we got out before I followed him inside. I cleared my throat, not really knowing were to start. I didn't want this to be heavy but at the same time, I wanted him to tell me a few things that could change so many things.

"I came here earlier, to get some of my clothes and get changed." I admitted.

"I know." he just let out, throwing his keys on the coffee table and making me chuckle and frown.

"How do you know? You've got an alarm system that messages you when someone gets in your house?"

He turned to me and shrugged with a small smile.

"Yea, but I'm still not totally sure how it works." he let out with a smile, making me laugh. "I just noticed what you were wearing, that's all."

My smile faltered a bit and I shrugged a shoulder before sitting on his couch.

"We need to talk, right?" I asked, not really knowing what to answer to his last comment.

"We need to talk."

He sat slowly next to me and sighed before turning my way. His eyes met mine and I thought about what Julie and Liam told me. Would I really be able to tell Niall how I feel? Would I be able to let out words I had expressed out loud for the first time in the last hours even if I had been feeling them for years, and now in front of the only man i've ever loved? That seemed like the end of the world. My world.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's a bit of everything and I promise i'm not trying to find excuses but..." he shook his head and sighed again. "You were sad, we talked about sex, you said you missed it... I wanted to make you feel better, I just... I really wanted to touch you. I wanted to watch you.."

He stopped himself and I held my breath. His words made my whole body burn and I knew it should have been a bit embarrassing but it was not at all. I wanted him to talk more, I wanted to know everything he felt and thought.

"What I said when I was touching you... it was true, you know. I would lie if I said I didn't have this... newfound lust for you. I do. You noticed it, didn't you?"

I remembered the way he got hard when we fell on the floor after we danced but it was the only example I could think about.

"No, not really." I admitted, making him frown. "I mean okay, after we dance and you fell on me I felt something but it could have been just a coincidence."

"I told you." he laughed. "I'm not 16 years old anymore."

Thinking that I actually made him horny and hard at least three times in the past weeks was incredible and I swallowed the smile that wanted to draw itself on my lips.

"What I mean is, I wanted it but I didn't think about how it would make you feel. Mentally, I mean. I'm sorry for that. I didn't think."

"You said it meant nothing." I pointed out, feeling my heart stir hard in my chest as my smile fell completely. "That hurt, you know."

He rubbed both his hands on his eyes and shook his head with a groan. It really seemed like he felt guilty and I couldn't help but feel endeared by him. I didn't know how he brought all these feelings to appear inside me but he was the only one who could make me feel so intensely.

"You know that's not what I meant, i'm sorry." he started, finally looking up at me. "I'm with Maya and that was so wrong. I didn't think about her at all or about how you'd feel after finding out I was still with her after I touched you. I thought with my dick and i'm sorry. But... Liv, yea, i'm with Maya but... she's always come second."

I felt myself tear up and held my breath to be sure not to miss a word he'd say.

"She asked me if i'd ever love her the way I love you and I told her I didn't know but it made me think and.. No, I never will. I don't think I can ever be close to someone the way I am with you, or love anyone the way I love you, and It's scary as fuck. Because... I mean, will I ever find someone for me? To have a decent relationship with? I mean, no girl I can date will accept to be second, right?"

I let a tear slide down my cheek as I tried to keep my sobs in. The truth was, I didn't know if I was sad or happy with what he had just admitted.

"Please, don't cry."

I sniffed, unable to talk and knowing that my voice would just crack if I tried. And he moved closer, bringing his hand to my cheek and wiping the tear with his thumb. But right after, he didn't pull away. He remained close to me, his palm burning the skin of my face, and the only thing I wanted to do was to kiss him. His eyes roamed on my face and I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him and tell him how much I love him. I wanted to kiss him and tell him that if i'd always be first, maybe it was because we were meant to be more than friends, that we were meant to be together... that we were some sort of soulmates.

I had no idea if I would have done it or not because the doorbell rang and he moved back, dropping his hand on his lap and sighing loud. He was not happy to be interrupted by whoever was on the other side of the door and I wasn't either but I used this time to swallow my pain and breathe in deeply.

I closed my eyes and he left to answer while I played the scene that had just happened over and over again in my head. He came back and I finally opened my eyes, the images behind my eyelids immediately vanishing, and my heart twisted when I saw Maya, standing next to him. She didn't seem pleased to see me and I couldn't say I was happy to see her either, but even more than that, I felt guilty as hell. I swallowed, remembering that her boyfriend had his hand in my pants not even 24 hours earlier. It's not like I could forget it anyway.

"Oh, I didn't know you were here." she said, sending me an awkward smile before sitting down next to Niall on an other couch.

"Yea, I mean, I wasn't feeling so well, so."

"Oh, I heard about you and Harry, i'm sorry about that." she let out sincerely this time, or maybe I was just a bit naive. "Niall and I were supposed to spend the evening together, I hope it's okay with you."

I was about to apologize, get up and leave when Niall spoke.

"It's no problem, we can all watch a movie together."

I watched as Maya's face changed into different facial expressions as emotions invaded her but in the end, she sighed and didn't argue. I let them decide on a movie since I was not really interested in it anyway but I kept glancing at them, since the couch they were sitting on was closer to the tv. I noticed Maya glancing at me from time to time right before grabbing his hand, kissing him or cuddling him. I understood she was getting territorial and I couldn't blame her but it did hurt anyway and I was pretty sure that was the whole point of her  petty behavior.

I couldn't help but think that if she wasn't there, i'd be the one cuddling Niall and it made me nauseous. After all, Niall said I was his priority, that he'd never love anyone as much as he loved me, and I really wanted to believe him, but it was not easy. I thought about Harry and what I had lost, and it seemed extremely unfair that what broke us up was something that made Maya want to fight even more to preserve her relationship. Harry gave up on me because of the relationship I have with Niall, but Maya was fighting against me to keep my best friend, and I couldn't help but feel completely unworthy of love.

I quickly wiped an other tear that fell down my cheek and when I looked up, I noticed Niall was staring at me. Maya was still all over him, staring at the tv, but he was looking at me with sad eyes. He licked his lips and mouthed an 'I'm sorry'. I wanted to talk to him, to cuddle him, to be closer to him, but it was impossible. I just sent him a sad smile too and shrugged before closing my eyes.

I knew I said i'd tell Niall how I felt for him but I knew it was not the right time. And now, I was not even sure there would ever be a right time.

[ead13]

Happy Trails, Old Friend

I don’t know why I got the urge to write about Branwen dying (of old age and very happy, I can assure you!), but here it is. Also, Arthur has a soft spot for Kieran and you can’t convince me otherwise.

               “Papa! Papa! Something’s wrong with Branny!”

               Kieran could feel a knot of dread form in the pit of his stomach. This news shouldn’t surprise him; he’d noticed how Branwen was faltering, and when he really thought about it (which he rarely had time to do now that he was juggling five kids and counting), his longtime companion was old. Actually, very old. Considering Branwen had been middle-aged, probably in his teens when he was assigned to him in the army, that meant he had lived a damn good, long life for a horse.

               Knowing that didn’t make the thought of saying goodbye any easier. No doubt Becky was the bearer of bad news.

               “Let me have a look at ‘im,” he answered quickly, dropping the curry comb he had been using to brush one of his charges. Still, he did his best to remain calm for his daughter’s sake as he closed the door to the stall. No need to start the little girl crying. Before he could take her hand, she was running on ahead to the pasture where Branwen spent his golden years grazing in peace. Even from a distance, he could see the flaxen roan horse was lying on the ground. He could hear the sound of weak braying carrying across the field. No, this wasn’t good at all.

               By now, Leah had heard the commotion and come running from across the yard where she had been feeding the chickens. “Papa, what’s wrong?”

               Kieran stopped and waited for his second-eldest to join them, but it wasn’t long before Becky was tugging on his arm. Linked together, they finally arrived at Branwen’s side. The old boy’s breathing was labored, more of a shudder than anything. It didn’t take more than a second to understand the situation. “Girls, you oughtta say yer goodbyes to ol’ Branwen.”

               “You mean he’s gonna die?” Becky looked at him with wide-eyed horror.

               He reached up and rubbed his beard, trying to pass off his anxious energy so they wouldn’t catch it. “Horses don’t live as long as people do, sweetie. As far as horses go, Branwen is a real old man. Most of ‘em don’t even live to be this old. He’s had a good life, a very happy one here with us.”

               “We can’t help him?” Leah wondered sadly, reaching out to pet the quivering animal gently. Becky followed suit.

               Kieran just shook his head, gritting his teeth to keep his emotions in check. “That’s just how it is. But he’s lucky that in the end he’s safe and loved and taken care of. Not every horse gets that.” He was trying to encourage himself just as much as his daughters at this point. The only thing making this easier was the heart-warming way they hugged the ailing creature, burying their faces into his well-groomed coat. They had grown up with Branwen, riding the gentle horse when they were still small enough for him to carry their weight. Yes, so much love. All the love he deserved.

               “You two take yer time sayin’ goodbye. I’m gonna go find yer ma and let her know.” More than that, though, he was going to see if he could convince Mary-Beth to take the kids to Uncle Arthur’s farm for a visit so he could put his dear friend out of his misery without having to worry about traumatizing his kids. Also, so he could cry about it in private.

 VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

                 He thought he’d have to work harder to convince her, but Mary-Beth was a saint. Even juggling five children under the age of 10 and half-way towards their sixth, she quickly agreed to give him the space he needed. Emma went to say her goodbyes too before being packed up in the wagon, but Rachel and Kieran were too young to comprehend the situation. Mary-Beth would have visited the old horse too, but she had her hands more than full. Instead, she pulled him into a long embrace. “I’m so sorry, dear. I know Branwen means the world to you. When I get back and the kids get settled, we can talk.”

               “Thanks, darlin’, for everything,” he murmured, squeezing her tight. “I think I’m gonna need it. That and a bottle o’ whiskey…”

               When she released him, she found Becky and Leah at her skirts. “Papa, are you okay?”

He kneeled down to pull both of his girls into a big hug. “This is gonna be very hard for me. I love Branwen very much. But he’s sufferin’, and it wouldn’t be fair to make ‘im keep sufferin’. Sometimes when ya love somethin’ you gotta let it go.” Damn, his eyes were getting misty!

“Should I stay with you?” Becky wondered, looking up at him and no doubt seeing every hint of distress in his face.

He gave a small smile. “No, sweetie. Sometimes ya hafta have some space away from other people. But when you both get back, I’m gonna need another hug, okay?”

“Okay.”

Finally, everyone was packed up and the wagon was heading down the road. That just left Kieran wrapped in an abnormal silence. He went to go pull out his shotgun. This had to be a clean kill, but as he reached for the firearm, he realized his hands were shaking badly. They continued to do so as he checked the ammunition and gunpowder. How the hell was he supposed to be able to do this?

In the end he decided that he’d just sit with Branwen until sunset, maybe braid his mane one last time, see if he’d eat an apple. He’d wait until his friend was asleep before ending it.

 VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

                 There were many tears in those precious hours, and he felt bad for it, as if it would upset Branwen even more. His breathing wasn’t much better, but at least his braying stopped as his favorite human settled down next to him. Kieran had suspected long ago that Branwen couldn’t really see anymore, having watched him bump into things. He always reacted to his voice, though, and that brought him some level of peace. He couldn’t eat the apple, just didn’t have the energy even though it was his favorite. This really was the end…

               Kieran was so in the moment that he nearly missed the sound of hoof beats. Who in the world would be coming now? It was too late in the day for any customer to return for their horse, and the kids surely couldn’t be back this early. He didn’t really have the energy to get up and look. Once he got up, he’d have to pull the trigger.

               “Kieran, I figured you’d be draggin’ yer heels.”

               The familiar voice caused him to startle. “A-Arthur?”

               He looked up to find the imposing figure of Arthur Morgan towering over him as robust as ever despite the onset of some graying hairs. “Heard ‘bout ol’ Branwen when yer brood showed up at my place. Puttin’ a horse to rest ain’t no one-man job, so I thought I’d come over and assist. I’m assumin’…” he gestured to the wide expanse of land their ranch covered, “there’ll need to be a proper burial.”

               “Huh, yer right. Guess I didn’t think of that,” Kieran admitted, looking downcast. He turned his gaze to the sinking sun. “I ain’t got any more time left, do I? Not if I hafta get this done before they get back.”

               “I reckon not. I also reckon…” he paused, scratching his head awkwardly. “I mean, if ya want, I could be the one to pull the trigger.”

               It wasn’t the idea of the finality of a trigger pull; it was all the idea that Arthur was kind enough to offer. He lost it. “I’m sorry, I thought I was done with this!” he tried to explain, wiping the tears now streaming from his eyes as he stumbled to his feet. He didn’t want his emotions to disturb Branwen, who had fallen asleep. “It ain’t like I’m losin’ my wife or my kids, I got no reason to be actin’ like this…”

               Arthur put a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Kieran, look at me.” The man struggled to obey, but Arthur refused to continue until he did. “I still remember how hard it was to lose Boadicea. I’d had that horse for a long time. But you and Branwen, even I know that was something more. You’d been down some pretty dark roads, all on yer own ‘cept for that horse. I know there were times he was all you had.”

               Now Kieran was crying uncontrollably in a way he hadn’t allowed himself to yet, all desires to handle this like a man crumbling away. “I used to say that all I knew ‘bout life was that people kept dyin’ and I loved horses. I thought Branwen and I would die too, alone. I don’t think I would have even bothered to keep livin’ if I didn’t have him to take care of. We finally got lucky though, him an’ me. You fellers took us in, got me on my feet, and now I’ve got Mary-Beth and five beautiful children and a home, and…and…” Finally, he let himself fall weakly against Arthur’s shoulder. “He got me through it all, but now his time is done, and I have other things to be livin’ for. Just gonna be an awfully big hole. It’s gonna feel so wrong after all these years.”

               It still was uncomfortable for Arthur, gruff as he was, to wrap his thick arms around the man, even for a few seconds of comfort. Still, he sucked it up for Kieran, because there was something touching about the idea that he trusted him like this with his vulnerabilities. Their relationship had always been one of mentor and mentee, perhaps the only one in Kieran’s entire life, and even after ten years and plenty of aging from both of them, that hadn’t changed. “That’s why I came, so you wouldn’t hafta do this alone. I’ll be the one to end it, so you don’t hafta.”

               “B-but, Branwen is my horse, my responsibility,” Kieran protested weakly, pulling away.

               “You have taken damn good care of that horse. There is no shame in lettin’ me do this,” Arthur insisted sternly. “Ain’t nobody gonna think less of ya for it, especially not when I’m offerin’.”

               It wasn’t worth a fight, not when he really didn’t want to do it. “Fine. Gun’s over there,” he gestured before wiping his eyes roughly.

               “Anything else you���ve gotta say to ‘im?”

               “Naw. It’s been said. And he’s sleepin’. I don’t wanna wake ‘im.”

               “All right. You go find some shovels and don’t come back ‘til you hear the shot.”

               He did as requested, flinching at the harsh sound of the gun and squeezing his eyes shut from his position in the shed. It was over. When all was said and done, they had a hole dug and Branwen buried, mane braided and apple given for his road to whatever afterlife there was for horses. Kieran desperately wanted to believe they’d go to heaven same as people so they might be reunited again one day. The dirt was barely filled in when the wagon bearing his family came rolling on in.

               Becky and Leah both jumped off as soon as it was stopped and came barreling towards their father, ignoring their Uncle Arthur completely. “Papa, we’re back!” They latched onto him immediately.

“Girls, I’m so happy to see ya.” Kieran wrapped his arms around them, then cast a glance at the rest of his family. His other children were squirming impatiently to be lifted down, but Mary-Beth took the time to meet his gaze. The concern in her eyes touched his heart. She may be busy being a mother, but he knew without a doubt that she was the best wife a man could ask for. Then, he looked to Arthur, who seemed amused by his nieces’ open affection. When he saw him looking, he nodded and grabbed the shovels, heading to the shed to put them away.

               Good Lord, Branwen was gone, but look at everything he had now, things he could only dream of when they’d first met. It would be hard, but he could survive this loss now.

[robinskalechip]

home - chapter two

robin buckley x reader

warnings: smoking, mild language

a/n: i really enjoyed writing the first chapter, idk how long this will exactly be but let me know if there’s anything else y’all would like to see. also send me hc requests!

not my gif!

chapter two - homecoming

robin had been an hour into her usual after school shift at the video store. steve was sat next to her at the counter reading a comic book dustin gave him.

“i can’t believe you’re actually reading that” robin joked

“ya know i didnt think i’d like it but this professor dude is actually pretty cool-“

before he could finish his thought, the two pair of eyes were immediately captivated by the chaos coming from the store entrance. dustin ran into the store without even acknowledging steve and robin, but immediately turning back towards the entrance where robin recognized a familiar denium.

the girl was yelling at someone down the street, faint barking could be heard, “I DONT CARE IF YOU SAID HE DOESNT BITE IF I SEE A DOG RUNNING AFTER ME, IM RUNNING NO CHANCES MRS. MENDEZ NO CHANCES!”

she closed the push-pull door aggressively and was still panting, trying to catch her breathe until she locked eyes with the hair himself. the smile robin had been thinking about all day had made a tremendous comeback, causing her to smile without her even noticing.

steve’s voice interrupted robin’s mild fazed moment

“MILANI~~”

“HARRINGTON~~”

“MILANI” steve yelled once more as the two ran to each other, steve immediately lifting the girl up and spinning her in his arms. robin’s heart dropped a little. of course.

“PUT ME DOWN OR I SWEAR TO GOD ILL MESS UP THAT PRECIOUS HAIR OF YOURS IN TWO SECONDS FLAT”

steve dropped the girl out of pure fear

her smile quickly turning to a face of slight anger and annoyance as she yelled at dustin, “nO HORROR MOVIES I DONT FEEL LIKE GETTING YELLED AT BY YOUR MOM”

dustin hurriedly put the film back on the shelf and relocated himself to a different genre.

steve was still smiling like an idiot, “when the hell did you get back? oh oH-“ he moved to the counter and disappeared from the girl’s sight for a few seconds and re-emerged with a lunch container in hand. he showed her the box, still smiling like an idiot and placed the box on the counter. once opened he took out a chupa chup lollipop in the flavor of strawberry and presented it to the girl. she stared at him with a blank expression for a few seconds, robin watching confused but also intrigued. the girl grinned and snatched the candy from steve as she said “i got back last night, here for ma” steve’s expression fell.

“yeah i heard some old ladies talking about your mom the other day, i’m sorry sof”

“i’ll be okay harrington, gives me an excuse to come back go hawkins and see the kids and my oldest friend and his legendary mane”

“oH OH IM SO SORRY! sofia, robin. robin, sofia.”

robin chuckled, “we’ve met dingus but it’s the thought that counts”

robin and sofia smiled at each other, perhaps a little too long because steve cleared his throat to make conversation. he was the only one who felt awkward in that silence. “i heard you were in new york, how are things up there”

sofia broke her eye contact that robin and her had held in order to answer steve’s question. “um yeah i work for a paper, get paid pretty well, eat good pizza, and smoke some decent weed here and there, life is good”

dustin interrupted the conversation by placed two film selections onto the counter. sofia picked both up and handed them back to him, “nu uh. one. its a school night, no double features” dustin looked at the girl with furred brows “you’ve been gone for how long now? i need to catch up on lost time and lost movie dates. it’s bad enough you were going to take mike out instead of me on your first night but you’re also going to limit our time together? are you really going to deprive me of that?” sofia lowered herself slightly so she was closer to his face, “you either get two movies and no snacks or one movie and snacks.” the boy quickly picked up one of the films and rushed to return it back to its place while picking up three packs of candy on his way back to the counter.

robin chuckled once again and looked at dustin, “date?”

steve laughed, eager to explain the context before either dustin or sofia, “yeah so when dustin and the rest of the boys were younger, sof’s family would always hang out with mike’s family, so she was around them a lot. they ALL had a crush on sofia so she would do a movie night with a different kid every week”

dustin looked at sofia with a smile, “but im her favorite though...right?”

“honey you know will was always my main man, besides you have suzie poo”, she said mockingly but in the nicest way possible.

they all laughed as sofia payed for dustin’s findings and then adjusted herself to where her elbows were now resting on the counter top. “what time do you guys get off?”

robin was finishing up bagging the items, “8:30 and then the overnighters come in, same most nights”

sofia contemplated, “that’s a little late for dustin but do you guys want to hang out after as three? or maybe this weekend? i was recently informed that sam was throwing a party down by old lake. i was gonna go, see some old friends”

steve laughed looking at robin who joined sofia in holding herself up via elbows on countertop,making them lose a great amount of the space that had been between them, “well I would love to accompany you to the party, unfortunately robin has to do the overnight due to her inability to have faith in my skills”

“skills?”

robin gave steve a look of annoyance as she explained “we had a bet that if he got a girl’s number before we ran out of airheads that i would do the overnight this weekend, we’re both free after work today though if you wanna get a bite”

sofia smiled at her, ignoring steve who was playfully flexing his muscles unironically , “ok, harrington” steve stopped once robin turned to look at him. sofia continued, “meet me at larry’s after work? and be a gentleman and give the beautiful lady a ride” she pushed her elbows off of the countertop and before turning around to leave, she gave robin a wink and harrington a smile. as she walked out she reached into her pocket and brought a packet of cigarettes to her mouth, grabbing one with her teeth.

with the unlit cigarette still between her teeth, she used her back to open the door as she let dustin go through before saying “nine o clock”

robin and steve watched at the two walked down the street, the girl lighting her cigarette in the process

steve looked at robin, “well, looks like you and i have a date”

next chapter

[little-owly]

boi oh boi this was a T R E A T to write >:3c tell me what y'all think!! -- Marvin hurried Chase, Anti, and Jac//kieb//oy Man into his personal office. A toothy smile plastered across his face -- excitement filling him as he gathered his wand and cape from his desk. It had taken Marvin nearly 3 weeks to perfect the spell he was casting today. Repeating the mantra over and over to himself during his practices -- practically crying with relief when he finally got the words right. Now, he just needed a test audience. Which is where his three friends (and fellow egos) came in. As Marvin closed the blinds, Chase spoke up. His voice concerned and worried. "Marv? Bud? I don't really know about you moving onto spells and shit. Can't you just..." he trailed off, "stick with illusions?" "...what?" "He means we're worried about you messing around with something you don't know /how/ to control." Jac//kieb//oy Man added. He pulled his red hoodie down and blue mask off, a serious expression staring Marvin down, "you don't think about what you're conjuring up to help you do these weird little spells?" "Oh, you gotta be kidding me." Marvin sighed, "this isn't even something huge like 'make me fly' or 'make them fall in love with me'!" Marvin retorted, anger rising in him. How could they not support his new tricks? How could they say such judgmental things about his act? "They're right and you know it," Anti chuckled, "you could call up some bad voodoo shit. Or do some weird irreversible spell." "Oh Christ, even you?!" Marvin laughed -- hand running through his own green bangs, "wow. Even the walking evil demon...person...glitch thingy?" Anti rolled his eyes and turned back to the other two, who had taken their seats at the couch in front of Marvin's makeshift 'stage' (his desk, with a hastily thrown red tablecloth draped over it.) "Hey. I tried to tell 'im too. Whatever happens is his fault." Marvin bit back the snicker as the three looked on. Thankful for his stubborn attitude. Oh, he'll show them. He'll show them just how amazing he is as a spell caster /and/ a magician! He coughed and turned his back to them, putting on his trademark cat mask before turning on his desk lamp for dramatic effect. Marvin's red and black cape swishing loudly as he faced his small crowd. "Good evening, all you beautiful people." He grinned. Chase and Jac//kieb//oy Man clapping as Anti booed. Typical Anti. "Ah, I hear we have some non-believers in the crowd." He posed dramatically as he pulled his wand from thin air, "never a problem with me -- Mar//vin the Ma//gni//ficent! The man who can turn the most harden skeptic into a true believer." Chase leaned over and whispered into Jac//kieb//oy Man's ear. Anti on their left side watching Marvin with a bored expression, "what spell is he even doin'?" Jac//kieb//oy Man answered him with a slow shrug. Both at a loss for what Marvin had planned up his sleeves. "Well, whatever it is -- I'm not saving 'im." Anti interrupted. His hand closing around his mouth as he yelled, "hey! Hoodini! I paid for a magic show, not a two hour long monologue!" Marvin huffed, "Anti, you didn't pay at all." *** And so, Marvin got on with it. Preparing the three with a few classic illusions. He started with the standard 'pulling a (plushie) rabbit from a top hat', moved onto a few quick disappearing acts, and ended with a mirror trick -- one that actually got a gasp out of Anti! A new achievement! "My dearest friends, I believe we end this night of dazzling tricks with one that will leave you breathless," Marvin smirked, grabbing the old spell book from behind his desk, "have you ever worried about aging? The once youthful and beautiful body and face you had, being lost to time itself?" Chase and Jac//kieb//oy Man exchanged worried looks. "My dearest friends -- I have pondered this question over and over. Finally willing myself to just see how exactly I'll be when I'm older. Will I be the grouchy old man down the street? Or the sweet old man staring out the window of some nursery home?" he smiled. "Marvin--" "I need absolute silence, please." Marvin stared down the worried Chase. Opening to the marked page to get one last quick look at the spell, Marvin stood before the three with arms and legs stretched out. "Now, will anyone give me an age over 50?" "56!" Anti shouted out. Chase and Jac//kieb//oy Man giving him a look that screamed 'you're not helping'. Marvin nodded his head, smile as wide as a mile. Stomach fluttering as he readied himself. All those late nights -- willing himself to get this right -- finally leading to this moment. It's showtime. The ancient foreign words spilt from Marvin's lips. Echoing around the office, the desk lamp flickering, the plushie rabbit from the last few tricks falling to the ground as the spell worked it's magic. Green and gold smoke appearing in a flash before the three. The room shaking with whatever power Marvin has unleashed. "Fuck--" Chase held back on his curse as the smoke settled. Marvin slumped to his knees on the floor. Breathing heavily as he shivered. No. Something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong. "Marvin?! Marvin!" Ja//ckieb//oy Man stood first, rushing over to the injured (?) magician. Chase joining him as Anti sat still. Unimpressed. "Marvin? Jesus, I knew we shouldn't have--" Marvin's blue eyes met Chase's. Tears rushing down his face as he winced. A quiet childlike voice breaking the worried silence. "D-Da...da?" "...what? Marvin--" He turned to Jac//kieb//oy Man. Crying even harder. "Papa...?" The two shared confused looks. Dada? Papa? Where had that come from? And what was with his soft voice? The two let go of Marvin as he crawled over to the forgotten plushie rabbit. Grabbing it's soft fur ear and crying harder. Outright sobbing like a...well... "I thought this was suppose to make you older, not a baby." Anti scoffed, "you fuckin' /suck/ at this." "Anti!" Chase yelled, "can you just shut up for a few seconds?!" The loud yelling and insults set Marvin off more. Sobbing harder as his face turned red. Holding out his hands in a grabbing motion towards Jac//kieb//oy Man. "What the fuck is going on," he sighed. Picking up the other man and going over to the forgotten book. Hoping to get to the bottom of whatever was going on with Marvin. "Marvin," Anti hissed in disgust, "don't chew on that toy's ear, who knows where it's been." *** Marvin babbled loudly as Chase held him. Calming him down by (ridiculously) shaking his car keys in front of him. Marvin responding with giddy giggles and quiet coos. Uncoordinated hands trying to catch the keys. "Chase, Anti! I think I figured out what happened!" The two followed behind the desk with Jac//kieb//oy Man. Chase leaving Marvin on the floor with his plushie rabbit -- who was currently being snuggled by Marvin. "Look," Jac//kieb//oy Man pointed towards a warning above the aged paper, hidden by the sticky note marker Marvin had used. "'Should you mix up the last two words, trouble you will seek. Instead you'll be aged back to six months, your mind young and meek. Do not worry about being this young forever, these effects only last for up to a week. This spell is for the strong and smart, not dumb and weak.'" Jac//kieb//oy Man read aloud. As if on cue, Marvin babbled and nibbled on his own fingers again. Cooing as he hugged the plushie rabbit tighter. "Jesus," Chase sighed, "he's...really only six months? Like, up here?" he points to his head. Anti crossing his arms. "Serves him right," Anti laughed, "guess no more shows or spells for a while." "Wait. Six months." Jac//kieb//oy Man looked to the two, "that means he's not potty trained anymore, right?" "Oh fuck." Anti groaned, annoyed. Of course Marvin had to suck them all into this nightmare of a situation. Not only did they have to deal with a dumbed down Marvin, but change him as well? The three argued as Marvin stopped suckling on his fingers. Looking down at his black tux pants. Wet warmth cascading down his legs and under his butt. Bottom lip wobbly as he continued to wet himself -- crying loud enough to get their attention. Anti being the first to look over and see the ever growing puddle. Glitching out more and more as he grew more angry. "Damn it!" Anti yelled, "I'm getting the doc and explaining this bullshit. You two...do /something/." *** "What the hell did you four get yourselves into." Dr. Sch//neeple//stein sighed. Bringing the three into his office as Marvin laid on the examination table. Soft fluffy diaper secured around his waist. Sleeping soundly in a loose shirt and cuddling his rabbit from before. "Oh God," Jac//kieb//oy Man looked away. Anti laughing loudly in the hall, the mere sight of Marvin padded up too much for him to take seriously. Poor Chase -- worried as ever -- walked in with ease. Hands clasped together as the doctor took a seat. "Well, nothing physically wrong with him other than the temporary incontinence." "It's just--" "Yes, I know. A week. Anti caught me up to speed on the whole affair." The doctor sighed, "best course of action would be to just, well, take care of him until next Monday." Chase nodded, "of course. Is...is there anyway we can have access to the medical diapers you have?" The doctor nodded, signing off bits of paper work and gathering the supplies for the three. "We?!" Anti asked from the hall, "who said I'm--" "Now. Is. Not. The. Fuckin'. Time. Anti." Chase hissed. *** "Took a while to find some more, but here we go. A few days worth of diapers, wipes, powder, and an adult pacifier." "Why do you have that?" Jac//kieb//oy Man asked, holding Marvin in his arms. A soft and warm red blanket from Chase's office wrapped around him. "Helps some patients stop snoring," the doctor yawned, "guys -- it's 9:30, you should all be getting home." "You're right -- thank you so much, Doc. You're a life saver." The doctor waved them off as he locked up his office for the night. Wondering how well the three would do with the mentally younger Marvin. He could hear them arguing again from his car. Yeah, Dr. Sch//neeple//stein gave it about a day or two before disaster happened. *** Marvin happily suckled on the small bottle of milk as Chase held him. The three of them sleeping over at his apartment until this whole situation was under control. Anti, however, snored loudly in the guest room. Doing nothing to help other than (harshly) throwing the plushie rabbit in Marvin's face the minute they piled into Chase's car. Making Marvin cry his heart out for nearly an hour. "Can he be any more annoying?" Jac//kieb//oy Man sighed, "Schneep said those adult binkies help people stop snoring -- can we convince him to get Anti one. Before I throw myself off your balcony?" Chase nodded. Tired and on the brink of sleep. "Let's focus on one baby at a time." He replied. Getting up to settle Marvin down for the night. Exhausted -- yet a small part of him glad to be taking care of someone again. Almost feeling a sense of belonging he hadn't felt since Stacey took the kids. Something swelling inside him, warming his body with affection. He tucked in Marvin before scooting under the heavy blanket himself. His bedroom dimmed down just for Marvin. He hesitated before pressing a soft kiss to Marvin's temple. "Sweet dreams, Marv. We'll take good care of ya."

[vonseal]

EVERYTHING FOR THE ASK GAME BECAUSE UR HIGHKEY ONE OF MY FAVE AROHAS & I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU (chinhands)

alrigh tthen oh my gosh

it’s under a read more because this is long as heckle freckle

1. how did you get into astro

originally, i was only really into super junior and cnblue. but super junior went on this hiatus the moment i got into them in 2015 and cnblue is great, but i just felt like i was missing something. so i tried out a few new groups, trying to find someone i caught onto instantly, and somehow astro stole my heart literally the moment i saw the hide and seek mv. best decision of my life.

2. how long have you known about astro

i had seen stuff about them in late 2015, with their okay ready show, but i remember thinking, “they’re really cute but im not that into kpop lol.” fast-forward and i watched their hide and seek mv in the summer last year, and that’s when i started gobbling up everything i could about them until they released summer vibes!

3. do you have more than one bias

mj, fo sho. always mj. and, at this point, i hesitate to label jinjin a bias wrecker because he has become a heavy bias of mine, as well. it’s gotta be mj and jinjin. (did you guys expect anything else)

4. who is your bias wrecker

all of them. just all of them.

5. which member first caught your eye

there were two members, actually. the first was mj. mj and his smiley face and his soft hair and his dorky attitude. i loved him the moment i saw hide and seek. but then i also liked rocky a lot. i thought he had an adorable smile and he was really cool but also really cute!

6. what was your first impression of astro

why the heck havent i stanned them since birth

7. astro otps

myungjinnnnnn. all the way myungjin. and, tbh, im neutral to the rest of the ships! i like any of them that have some form of chemistry. binu is the great ship, and i do like it a lot (i add it into, like, everything), and socky is a cute innocent ship. but i also like rare ships - i find them really interesting. (myungjun / bin does not equal bj, dasha.)

8. moonbin x eunwoo or moonbin x rocky

binu ships themselves. tho i thought the main ship would be moonrock, so i was confused when i got into the fandom.

9. are you younger than any of the members?

im younger than mj. thats it. im the missing age in astro.

10. are you taller than any of the members

im shorter than all of them, bless it all

11. what was the first song you heard by astro

hide and seek!!! i watched the mv at least 20 times that day.

12. what is your favorite song from astro

i think, right now, it’s cotton candy, but i also absolutely adore lie and dreams come true, and, as always, hide and seek! it changes day by day, tbh.

13. have you bought an album from astro

i have 9, with two more on the way bc i have issues with my life.

14. have you had any dreams about astro

i have not!!! i’m a little shocked i havent. but it’s fine, bc my dreams are off-the-wall bizarre and i’d rather not stick poor astro into my weird-ass dreams.

15. what concept do you want to see astro do

oddly enough, we havent had any space concepts. i want a space concept? i feel like life will be complete. especially if they were those astronaut suits while doing a dance.

16. which members do you think are attractive

all of them! mj mostly tho. he’s the most handsome person in this whole world!

17. what does astro do that makes you cringe a bit

so you know how they’ve done those, like, things where they talk to the camera as if there’s a girl right there? idk why, it’s so cringey to me. the ones where they reach out and pet the camera, when they’re not trying to be funny. also cringey is that weird binu ear cleaning bit and jinjin’s odd anime pillow, i just cant watch that at all, i literally cringe so much it hurts

18. which member would you want as a brother

sanha, so i can dote on him!!! but also jinjin bc i feel like he’d be a really sweet, reliable brother, even if he is younger than me.

19. which member would you want as your best friend

definitely mj, but also eunwoo! he’s studious and hard-working and everything i’m not. i feel like i might become a more responsible person with his pushing.

20. which member do you think is most boyfriend material

i think it’s a tie between jinjin and moonbin, actually! idk something about the two of them works so well as boyfriend material. jinjin obviously looks it, and moonbin sort of acts it?

21. what hair color do you want to see on a certain member

SO I THINK SANHA WITH BLACK HAIR??? i know everyone talks about eunwoo’s hair, but sanha’s had different colored hair in every single comeback. like, the only pics i’ve seen of him with black hair are his kiddie pictures. i mean, i guess jinjin, too, but i just really want to see sanha with his normal black hair.

22. which members look better with their hair up

i love the forehead, so all of them. especially moonbin and mj. god they both have such fantastic foreheads, stop hiding them, fantagio!!!

23. is sanha more talented than you

hell yes

24. if all of astro were hanging from a cliff, who would you save first

i’d grow ten long arms and save all of them at once. i would find a way. i would save them all.

25. is astro your favorite rookie group

they’re my favorite group in general. ult group. ult biases, all of them. only group i spend tons of money on. im broke daily bc of astro help.

26. do you want astro to win awards

no more rookie awards, but i’d love to see them win a music show award!!! but im not a competitive person so i’m not frantic about it, but if they’re close, i’m all rooting over them golly gee they deserve it

27. would you rather...

since this wasn’t specified, i would rather kiss mj instead of any of the others, sorry ma, and i would rather have sanha dress me than jinjin. ( i love your fashion, boy, but i want sanha to choose cute stuff for me )

29. what interactions do you want to see astro have with other groups

i want them to hang out with knk and snuper, definitely!!! i got into knk and snuper along with astro, and i think they all should be bffs!

30. if you could pick one astro vid to show your friends, which one

i think the infamous bug one. i showed that one to my sister and i think that propelled her obsession. especially bc i used to be deathly afraid of big, flying bugs, but i’ve been designated the Killer of Roaches both at work and at home, and so now i can’t run away screaming. but while Seal on the Outside is calm and simply smacks giant bugs with brooms and shoes, Seal on the Inside loses her shit.

(fun fact - i attack giant roaches with ease, and then once it’s dead, i sit down and cry bc it’s scary.)

[star-hoya]

11 Questions x 3

It’s a slow work day for me so I have the time to answer all the interesting questions sent in by all these lovely people!! @infnthoya, @dimple-soo & @jdw-juseyo thanks for tagging me!!

Fatma’s Questions:

1. Let’s say superheroes exists. Would you like to be one who saves their people from inhuman enemies like those in the movies? Why/why not?

I actually want to be a superhero that also gets hurt, also risks dying, one that is more humanly and will not be afraid to admit her weakness. Just like the song ‘Superman’ by Five for Fighting, I kinda just want to be an everyday superhero if you know what I mean? So probably not those that fight monsters and villains, just one that helps others when needed. 

2. A song that makes you think “I wish i was the one who wrote the lyrics to this”?

Epik High’s ‘Love Love Love’! I first heard it when Howon covered it during a radio show a few years back, and I really enjoyed the melody and the way he sang it even though I couldn’t understand anything. Then I chanced upon another video of him singing it with English lyrics translations and fell in love especially with how a full cycle of a relationship was depicted within the span of a song. It was scarily accurate too all the things I feel like I’d do. 

3. An mv that makes you think “I wish i was the one who shot/directed/wrote the scenario to this”?

I really liked the MVs for Akdong Musician’s 200% & Give Love! They were just the cutest and there was a twist too which made it fun and in my opinion, very original!

4. Is there a song without an mv that makes you create your own in your head? If yes, which song and what would be the mv like?

INFINITE’s Love Letter! I really love that song so much and how the boys always smile so cutely when singing that song! I think I’d probably go with a ‘Man in Love’ concept. Something bright and sweet! 

5. Something that made you happy recently?

I won 2nd prize at a challenge (something like Amazing Race) with my friends and while I was thrilled we got food vouchers and everything, I was more consoled at the fact that I still got the physical strength to be running around the city for 3 hours straight!

6. Something you bought for yourself just for pleasure (not a necessary item) recently? (Pics if possible)

I bought the INFINITE rally 3 photocards when I went to the rally! Haha, totally not something I need, but just something I want!

7. Does your bias look better in formal or informal clothes? Convince us with pics!

Howon looks good in both formal and informal clothes nobody make me choose!! (Fatma I’m sure you agree with me!) I especially love him in suits and also casual boyfriend feels wear like how he does at airports!

8. Movie recs?

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them / The Dark Knight Trilogy / Ratatouille / Fast and Furious series / La La Land

9. If you could form a duo with someone (not necessarily a singer/celebrity) who would it be? Why?

I really don’t know. I can’t sing haha. Maybe Woohyun? He can do most of the singing I just want him to look at me when he sings, like how in duets and stuff the guy and girl turn to each other and sing while gazing at each other? Yeah, I want that with Woohyun >.<

10. Dream job?

Woollim’s Accountant.

11. Something you’d like to say to anyone (just one person) right now? (Except for me. Since im the one who asked, i dont wanna sound like im forcing you guys to say something to me xD)

To... Sometimes I wish you well, other times I still wanna wish you hell. 

---

Nana’s Questions:

1. How would you best describe yourself using 3 adjectives?

Funny, Quiet, Nice.  

2. What’s your favourite smell in the whole world?

I quite like the smell of my shampoo! The brand’s Ma Cherie and it comes in this pretty pink bottle too!

3. What’s a song that always cheers you up?

INFINITE H’s Fly High!

4. Are you listening to music rn? If yes, what are you listening to?

Haha, nope I’m at work so no music for me. But the last song my iTunes played is the song by K.Will for dots. ‘Talk Love’!

5. What is your perfect pizza?

Domino’s Garlic Prawn Pizza with puff pastry as the base. 

6. What are you most afraid of?

I’m afraid of a certain animal to the point I can’t even look at photos of it. If I see it on any papers or books, I’d cover my eyes and try to get someone to close the book for me!

7. What do you like to do on a rainy day?

Sleep!

8. If you had to form a 7 member group (boy/girl/co-ed group whatever you want lol), but you had to pick a member each from already existing groups, who’d be in your group and what would the group be called?

Can’t I just have a 4-member group? I want my Doojoonese unit please!!! 

9. Describe your ultimate bias with a pic or gif.

So handsome and cute at the same time!!!

10. Tell me something funny you did when you were a kid.

I was so happy I had to wear glasses when I was 8 years old because my sister started wearing it a few years back and I thought it looked cool. I remember hanging and hooking random stuff onto my glasses all the time! I regret it so much now and you won’t see me with glasses unless I’m at home!

11. Name 3 objects you absolutely can’t live without.

Passport, Money (with money I can buy everything, like a phone haha), Water.

---

Millie’s Questions:

1. What was the last word you said out loud?

I think it’s ‘I can buy it’ because this morning my colleagues and I were buying movie tickets to go watch ‘Beauty and the Beast’!

2. Describe what you can remember from your last dream:

I...can’t....remember...anything... (I’m sorry!)

3. What’s the best ice cream flavour?

Matcha flavour!

4. When was the last time you went away on a trip? And where was it?

I actually just returned from Seoul 2 weeks ago! INFINITE rally guys no way would I miss it for the world! You can check out photos of my trip HERE.

5. Tell us three things you want to achieve/do in the next year:

Get a new job that I like and that it pays well in a month, lose more weight, find love (haha).

6. What was the last book you read?

Argo.

7. Are you more of a tea or coffee person? Why?

Definitely a tea person! I can’t drink coffee because of health conditions and I wouldn’t drink it even if I could because it’s bitter! I love tea though so give me tea anytime!

8. Go to Wikipedia, click ‘random article’ (it’s in the menu bar on the left hand side) and tell us what it is:

List of Georgians

9. Which season is your favourite?

Probably Autumn because red leaves!!!

10. Top 5 foods! Go!

- Anything with Mentaiko

- Sushi / Sashimi

- Pasta 

- Korean BBQ

- Avocado

11. Where would your dream home be?

In a more laid back town with an equal laid back lifestyle but with a job that brings in cash. The town needs high-speed internet too haha. Something like the setting of Kiki’s Delivery Service. 

----------------------------

My questions for you!

Are you usually early, right on time, or late?

Tell me who your 2nd bias is and why you stan him/her?

What was the last thing you ate?

Do you like spicy food and what’s your tolerance to spiciness?

Recommend 3 songs to me please (it can be any language/genre). :)

What concept are you hoping INFINITE’s next comeback will be?

Can you play an instrument and if so, what instrument and why did you learn it?

Is there any movie you’ve watched more than 10 times? 

How many people do you follow on Tumblr?

Tell me about something you’ve achieved?

Do you wanna build a snowman? :D

I tag 11 people: @hoyainifinite / @namsoogyu / @flowrsoo / @whiteconfession / @ifnt-saranghae / @perfgyu / @whwoohyun / @purpleboyhowonee / @jjonghs / @gravity-kontrol / @woomeh 

[serene-serein]

Save Yourself, Don’t Watch Death Note

I documented my thoughts while watching the new Death Note movie so...here you go.

1. Music is nice 2. Tf is this opening scene 3. ....the quiz ?????? 4. edgy hair and all 5. Typical misunderstood girl 6. THE CIG?????? 7. what's with the dramatic wind???? did no one else see the book?? (1:37:26) 8. random hard rain???? 9. Bullies wtf 10. the girl 11. light WTF (1:36:34) 12. he sounds like an 8 year old 13. he acts like an 8 year old 14. Mia lied cuz she a ho 15. Light shut up UR SO EDGY!!! (1:35:21) 16. HIS MOM??? SHOULDNT BE DEAD?? 17. okay principal is a dick but tbh it's an edgy movie what did I expect 18. he still likes her why 19. detention?????? 20. he looks so gross 21. HE ACTS GROSS WTH (1:34:12) 22. the book looks gross 23. EW CREEPY TONGUE LICK 24. why r u reading it out loud 25. the book has been used?? why?? what?? 26. also there should be lines 27. RYUK??? BBY?????? he didn't try to scare him  in reality unmmmm what 28. "Hello?" @ monster (1:32:55) 29. RYUK LOOKS COOL DUDE 30. screaming omg I'm dead kill me 31. THE SCREAMING (1:32:14) 32. u fuckin child 33. APPLE! 34. cool voice 35. more screaming 36. AND THEN HES FINE????????? 37. "I'm asleep" stereotype 38. I love Ryuk babe 39. but what'd they do to him 40. LIGHT'S FACEEEEE IM DED (1:30:47) 41. bullies aren't like that um 42. so now Ryuk is the bad guy? 43. "I don't have a pen" 44. why does Ryuk have a pen 45. WHY IS LIGHT LISTENING 46. um wtf 47. DECAPITATION??????? 48. "Watch" IM 49. HIS FACE (1:29:02) 50. decapitated by a ladder 51. GORE IS OFF THE CHARTS 52. and then Ryuk is like "k now here lemme accept it" 53. WHAT (1:28:15) 54. apparently his dad is a drunk and they live in a trailer 55.  Light is apathetic towards the bully dying and so is the dad 56. "death of someone? meh. cheating? OH DEAR GAWD" 57. edgy kid and so disrespectful (1:26:53) 58. ......what is this family ??? 59. Light is so disrespectful and the dad doesn't even care 60. edgy music 61. A P P L E 62. what, u gonna kill ur daddy? 63. "Don't trust Rie-uk" NOT HOW U SAY IT 64. monster in the closet ;) (1:25:06) 65. let's play with the creature in the closet! 66. human hand 67. fast eating 68. screaming again 69. "Ree-you-k" a so much better 70. casually talking (1:24:13) 71. what is this... 72. "UR FINGERS R HUGE" WHAAAAT [funny line tho cuz that’d be me] 73. "No shark attacks while someone's on the toilet" admittedly funny 74. they act as if this is a casual occurrence 75. IGNORES RULES AND WARNINGS AND DECIDES TO KILL OKAY YEAH SURE (1:22:45) 76. "Gotta get mummy's killer" oh give me a break 77. Of course he's gorging himself 78. *from earlier* light didn't care about the bully dying for more than two seconds 79. that's..such an improbable way to die (1:21:10) 80. bad hiding 81. Light is so bad at hiding 82. "Ur ma was a hippie" oh okay that explains his name 83. UM LIGHT WTF UR SO BAD AT ACTING 84. EVERYONE IS BAD AT ACTING KMS 85. fuckin Ryuk 86. I like his face tho is cool (1:19:43) 87. openly uses book in school 88. "Kenny was a sociopath... i wish id seen it" 89. Mia is a bitch 90. they're awkward 91. she's so weird 92. BAD ACTING ABOUT IT 93. "Can't tell you" "k bye" "U WANNA KNOW?" (1:17:54) 94. she doesn't see Ryuk 95. "Ur poetry sucks" funny 96. HIS FUCKING FACE WHEN SHE SEEs IT 97. "I have a death god" and she S M I L E S and then just stays cuz it's so normal 98. "Lemme kill someone to prove to you" (1:16:27) 99. same school thing okay that's fine 100. why wouldn't the police just shoot him 101. Hit by a truck and that's not how it....I'm..what 102. "I killed him" BITCH RUN 103. he's a sociopath. simple 104. she doesn't care (1:14:55) 105. okay so he has an easy excuse. mommy issues 106. "Think I'm crazy?" "No, not crazy enough. we could change the world" 107. sneaking into the house together what 108. why am I spending time watching this 109. STOP KISSING PLS 110. "YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ASK" Oh okay so no consent? sure fine totally (1:13:40) 111. and they have sex okay sure 112. HIS FACE IS WHAT 113. creepy relationship 114. kissing while killing 115. Asian guy killed 116. laughing at it 117. THEY made up the name? oh hell no (1:12:08) 118. OH MY GOD "killer in Japanese so they'll look on the wrong continent" 119. laughing at it all 120. riots for him????? I can't even tbh 121. Kira is suddenly a good guy for everyone okay sure whatever u ass 122. HEY IS IT L HEY HEY 123. "Tokyo nightclub" YOU ASSES (1:10:00) 124. hey it's my boy L yo 125. he looks stupid snooping around the scene 126. bad acting 127. L is cool ig 128. I'm so confused what is this 129. very very bad acting 130. ....THE SINGING!!!!! 131. and somehow L falls asleep to it (1:07:48) 132. obvious green screen 133. Light is so obvious 134. "Is there a complaint department if I don't like one of Kira's choices" I like the dad he's funny 135. dad ig looks similar in a whitewashed way 136. all the papers on the ground and "eat shit" cuz that's normal 137. the screen wasn't even in a phone call okay 138. Watari never showed his face (1:04:57) 139. why is his dad so rude 140. no voice changer 141. he's so messy what 142. candy obsession 143. thanks for the true to anime sitting that's good 144. HOW DO YOU KNOW SEATTLE? 145. oh first kill? (1:03:49) 146. and now she's manipulative 147. "It's not like that" How do you know?? 148. not bad representation of L 149. you can't tell his age go away 150. ice cream pfft 151. "REST YOUR GLUTES" Funny 152. how did the police miss that (1:01:14) 153. why would you trust Light's dad then 154. speaking with Kira okay that's actually realistic 155. L never, and I mean NEVER, showed his face publicly 156. does light have nothing better to do 157. "He's a coward" Oh yeah do it 158. Ryuk I love you (59:17) 159. Ryuk laughing ily 160. okay so you got it light that sure okay fine 161. "THEN, James, ID BE DEAD" I love him 162. funny scene 163. why is Light sneaking downstairs You're so Obvious 164. SO OBVIOUS WTH 165. ...how is his dad so...oblivious 166. irony 167. ...more obviousness wth (56:53) 168. "A particularly bright kid" no he obviously isn't 169. stalker is obvious 170. and she's the manipulater okay 171. "Care-a" 172. SASSY LIGHT WOOT 173. she's a bitch 174. she's going to write in it isn't she 175. probably took it 176. she's a bitch okay (54:39) 177. *from earlier* why'd they change the if you touch the note thing 178. oh so the heart attack thing is back 179. agent franks is being controlled 180. L is shocked sureeeeeeeee not how he is tbh 181. what's this pop music I like it 182. inappropriate timing tho 183. and they walk off the building I'm screaming okay whatever 184. in Japan? what 185. screaming about the death note in school 186. OBVIOUSLY IT WAS HER 187. Ryuk is so sassy 188. okay so Ryuk’s killing them? Jesus that's not how it works 189. you can't kill a god of death idiot 190. what's with the name thing (51:37) 191. she's so demented 192. his dad already what is going on 193. she's insane and wanting to kill his dad.... 194. SHES TRYING TO GET HIM TO KILL HIS DAD?!?! 195. Mia what the actual fuck 196. L isn't bad 197. his dad is ready to die? (49:22) 198. is he going to kill his dad cuz I feel like he is 199. what's with L's old phone? 200. okay so he's figured out who Kira is 201. what's with the sleeping? 202. I love how Ryuk is in the book Light is reading 203. casual approaching 204. HIS SITTING L I like you 205. confronting him... 206. LIGHT IS SASSY 207. why is Ryuk like this I wonder (46:53) 208. cool lighting tho 209. giving himself away 210. face shown 211. why are they fighting 212. "I dont even carry a gun, it's distracting" best line 213. L is actually cool 214. light is fucking insane 215. no one notices the fighting 216. ew here SHE is again 217. push her into the mud she's ugly 218. "I'm a cheerleader. nothing mattered before you" best excuse 219. "I love you" I'm.. (44:16) 220. ew ew ew ew ew they're so gross 221. you need his full name um 222. not going to kill Watari 223. only 1 name able to be burned okay 224. creepy monk orphan 225. CREEPY MONK ORPHANAGE 226. why is Watari listening 227. Mia go away pls 228. L doesn't think this is weird with Watari? (41:18) 229. the tattoo is cool behind L’s ear but why is it there 230. I like L actually 231. he freaks out? unlike his character  232. top hat 233. casual L 234. so obvious um 235. girl isn't even gone and now they're talking 236. unlike L's character (39:21) 237. she's still there 238. Police brutality UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM 239. CHOKE HOLD?! 240. THREATENING TO KILL L!!! 241. UM LIGHT WHAT THE FUCK 242. WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK 243. AND HIS FUCKING FATHER???? (38:18) 244. pfft Ryuk 245. "Is there anything I need to know" he would 100% support Kira 246. L in the background 247. completely calm after this ???? 248. did they not look into the girl 249. why is Watari singing 250. Light is so obvious 251. THE TOPHATTT 252. Watari is probs going to die (35:41) 253. CREEPY ORPHANAGE 254. ghostly panting???????????? [subtitles] 255. Ryuk can't..I'm ...what 256. this is actually a cult tho 257. secret tunnel okay yes 258. what's with the weird music (34:12) 259. why is L so strung out 260. awkwardly morose 261. homecoming awkwardness 262. TOP HAT 263. middle fingers wouldn't be allowed 264. rat 265. I bet Watari is going to die. Light will probably be too late to/forget to burn the page 266. what happened to the monks? why did they leave the papers? plot hole 267. top hat 268. frosted tips like [ex’s name] 269. "Normal people scare me" the worst thing yet (31:32) 270. called it. Watari is dead 271. I don't get what the page 272. ohh to burn his name 273. she's fucking creepy and weird 274. and Light doesn't really care 275. top hat (29:21) 276. and then hugging 277. she's insane..... 278. "I saved you again" I'm screaming 279. ....what the actually hell is wrong with her. LIGHT FUCKING DUMP HER 280. I absolutely hate her 281. why is she able to write in it 282. ...and of course she killed him 283. she's insane, like actually completely insane (27:35) 284. What's with all the rules thing 285. I ACTUALLY HATE HER WHAT THE HELL 286. Ryuk wouldn't let this happen he isn't a bad guy 287. L is now even more insane and going to kill Light 288. inappropriate music 289. Light's ugly running (26:19) 290. why didn't he burn his own page 291. why didn't he put her in there towards the end so she couldn't see it 292. Plot holes 293. WRITE HER FING NAME (24:50) 294. did he leave the book 295. L is coming for you bitch also he can't drive so 296. inappropriate music and close ups 297. L is cool lol look @ his awesome running 298. ohhhh he's cool (23:22) 299. parkour 300. Light's running is like not pressing the correct buttons on a quick time 301. L's running is awesome 302. nice lighting tbh 303. KILL HIM KILL HIM (21:50) 304. "Lord Kira" kill me 305. is this supposed to be a romantic scene when she wrote his name in the book? 306. he's carrying a gun like literally what 307. he should kill her (20:30) 308. KILL HER KILL HER 309. inappropriate music 310. "Lets run away together" 311. she's insane and still smiling 312. he probs wrote her name (19:28) 313. probs pushes him out 314. oh look @ Ryuk 315. OH YESSSSSS HE KILLED HER OH YES 316. his reasoning 317. "You said you loved me I thought you wouldn't take it" you moron (18:17) 318. why would you take it back 319. did she already burn his page? 320. why is Ryuk involved 321. shouldn't they both die? they're both in it 322. THE MUSIC IS BACK WHAT 323. the book why would you catch it 324. THE MUSIC IS SO INAPPROPRIATE IM SCREAMING (16:51) 325. oh there they go! bye bye b 326. I love Ryuk's smile 327. the slowmo 328. everyone's faces 329. the flowers exploding 330. is Light alive???? 331. is she??? 332. I'm confused tbh (16:02) 333. she's dead 334. L is still alive yay! 335. free death note page 336. omfg it burned no 337. Light is alive probs 🙄 338. who took the random book? (14:45) 339. more killings 340. apparently everyone hates L?? that's not how he was treated 341. Who is this guy that picked up the book 342. why would you give back the book (13:42) 343. such an obvious place to leave it 344. the phone screen isn't on a call 345. is he going to wake up 346. yes 347. oh and he keeps the book you weirdo 348. she was insane why is he sorry 349. his dad is ugly and gross go away (12:10) 350. WAIT PLOT HOLE he was supposed to be in a coma but his dad knocked. his dad wouldn’t know he’s awake? 351. Dad somehow doesn't care it was Light 352. L what are you doing 353. is his dad going to join in... oh no 354. why would you need to write all this down idek man 355. what is L doing..oh nvm wait why did he act surprised by this (9:07) 356. so now L is thrown off course? oh going to write Light's name? 357. do it son, pls do it he's ugly 358. inappropriate music 359. Ryuk laughing (7:30)